aRCHIVE MARCH 2006 PART 2

1st of april
31

03

2006

i know im really important,do you know why? cos i have a day named after me. i have a day of my own, im so important & famous that some countries celebrate it.

im so happy of being me. congratulations, tomorrow's my day!

yeah check yer calenders. tomorrow's 1st of April. that's my day. but i dunno why they call it april fool's day

PS i posted one day earlier to prove it's my day

PPS here's the history of such an important day:

April fool's day also called All Fools' Day in most countries the first day of April. It received its name from the custom of playing practical jokes on this day—for example, telling friends that their shoelaces are untied or sending them on so-called fools' errands. Although the day has been observed for centuries, there are differentexplanations for its origin. It resembles festivals such as the Hilaria of ancient Rome, held on March 25, and the Holi celebration in India, which ends on March 31. The modern custom may have originated in France when theGregorian calendar, which moved New Year's Day from March 25 to January 1, was adopted in1582. Those who continued to celebrate the endof New Year Week on April 1 were referred to as fools. The timing of the day also may be related to the vernal equinox (March 21), a timewhen people are said to be fooled by sudden changes in the weather.



There are variations between countries in the celebration of April Fools' Day, but all have in common an excuse to make someone play the fool. In France, for example, the fooled person is called poisson d'avril (“April fish”), perhaps in reference to a young fish and hence to one that is easily caught; it is common for French children to pin a paper fish to the backs of unsuspecting friends. In Scotland the day is Gowkie Day, for the gowk, or cuckoo, a symbol of the fool and the cuckold, which suggests that it may have been associated at one time with sexual license; on the following day signs reading “kick me” are pinned to friends' backs. In many countries newspapers and the other media participate—for example, with false headlines or news stories.

PPS2 it's time to celebrate it, let's have some soup!


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Categories : thoughts, feelings

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“zag zag mind” disease
31

03

2006



recently i discovered something really important. i dunno why they didnt say it in the news, but i dont really care.

im sick, it's a new disease that's very deadly. the name is "zag zag mind".

lemme tell you the symptoms: first you feel you're a bit dizzy, sometimes little headaches, then sniff & cough. after that you feel better but it's a sign that you're getting worst. you wanna stay in bed & dont go to work. you ask others to do your homework but they dont. you want new pair of sneakers; you hate rain & snow more than anythingelse in the world. you wanna rest & watch tv. you think tmnt isthe best tv production & 4kids is the best channel in the world. you think soccer is the best sport & you feel happy when you hear arsenal won juventus 2-0 though you dont support any of 'em. you wanna break tv when there's a nba game.

you think everything looks lovely after several days; everyone loves you. but the truth is the life sucks.

you dream of the day you have finished yer papers, your nightmare's when a prof ask you for more work & your last wish is to get a degree in materials.

in the end you feel there's something heavy in yer brain; this heavy thing turns to a heavy liquid like mercury or molten steel & then it changes to gas & vaporize. what yo ugot then?! empty brain. it's a good vacuum media for scientific experimients. this far you have a zag zag brain, but i dunno the rest cos i havent experienced it yet; gonna inform you asap!




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why there’s nothing interesting here?!
31

03

2006
lost in the middle of responsibilities & books; i had no time for a fucking cold. but it jus came; without knocking. it's over 10 days now & i still cough in the mornings. jus used to it.

but the main reason there was no update was i had nothing worthy to write. none of my crap were ever worthy to read but this time i didnt have anything interesting.

the life's passing so fast, that i dont have any time to take a look at mirror to see i getting ol!

every morning i say today's my day but it's not. im not in the mood of making that day mine so i let it pass. so foolish

thought i could get up early today but it was half past 6 when i opened my eyelid to view another day.

im thinking of making this day mine; though it's a bit late. i took a look at piles of books waiting for me & tones of homework; geez , im not in the mood of reading or doing 'em.

today's my bro's birthday & i didnt bother myself to get him something. so colse we are!

life's so funny we spend many times with strangers we dunno much & we think it's a waste of time to spend a few minutes with those we know a life time.

i wish i could give a shock to my rusty brain & made everything look better. i dont say i dont like my surrounding; it's so great but sometimes it bore me.

^%$^&#$&# i dunno why i feel so sleepy; seems drinking coffee wasthe worst thing to do; jus give me headaches. better get some rest & stop pressing buttons in random order to make 'em look wise!

im trying to find my old version; i dont like the new me though others think i look wiser & quieter. gotta dig through my rusty brain & get that inner shit out. i wanna rock the world again with my foolish ideas. why should i look wise?!

PS this cake's a symbolic sign for sb's birthday who was unavailable, say cheese, im taking yer photo!

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Diner Dash
27

03

2006


i was so busy this week , really busy, os i spent a few hours playing this silly game "diner dash"

i got to the final level but not finished it yet!

gonna finish this soon; but serving people in heaven's really ridiculous!

i dont wanna do this job, even if i die of hunger, i jus like to go to restaurants & order & complain….

i hate this kinda jobs, i like working with metals!

gotta get back to whatever i was doing aka playing

will be back soon!

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why nothing here?!
27

03

2006


hey it's a pity there's nothing here, i was sickly busy or busily sick, no time for updates, & nothing really interesting. the sky's blue as usual, the ground's white, there's someone complaining, the dog's barking…..

i'll be back soon with more news!

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yippeeee
22

03

2006


im sick again, my fish deid, there’s snow, i have a new toy….

whatelse?!

life’s so beautiful when you cant breathe! yes it is! dont deny it.

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welcome
20

03

2006
when the weather’s so generous that gives yo snow, what can i say?!

this is what i got here!

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land of ice & snow
20

03

2006


aint it beautiful? yeah it is, but it’s kinda terrifying, im not used to so much snow; it’s cold here, fuckin’ cold. but great scenery

the flight was quite ok but soooooooooo long. im gonna call this place my new home.

i discovered one thing,i m a real net addict. the first thing i did was to find a net connection for myself. i havent upacked yet, may be do it tomorrow

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plantasia
16

03

2006
just playing planetsia
somebody help me with this level!

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you’re cursed
14

03

2006



you were cursed the minute you were born,

you were cursed the minute you told yer first lie

you were cursed the minute you hid yer toys from a friend

you were cursed the minute you envied at school stuff that you didnt have

you were cursed the minute you thought you’re the best

you were cursed the minute you cheated on yer friends

you were cursed the minute you sold your childhood to have earthly things

you were cursed the minute you betrayed yerself by forgetting yer creator

you were cursed the minute you smiled to a stranger to earn more money

you were cursed the minute you forgot yer loved ones & destroyed ‘em under boots of ignorance

you were cursed the minute…..

lemme tell you one thing, you’re cursed cos you feel miserable though yo have million things to cheer for, so

YOU ARE CURSED


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hero
12

03

2006

i’ve never been a hero.

i cant be a hero.

i dont wanna be a hero.

but i dunno why this life gives me role of a super hero every now & then.

whata foolish knuckle-head!





I’M sick, I’M sick AGAIN!!!!

i wanted to cheer Chelsea draw ( Tottenham vs. Chelsea); but they score another goal in 92th minute. shhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttt; what a day!


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lost in hell
10

03

2006


i have a terrible feeling, a terrifying one, heaven, why im so weak, with a little blow i lost hold on my rope & fell. fell down, down down to the darkness i hate so much, to the place i dont wanna see again. Lord please help me, take my hand, hold it tight, i fell again & it’s jus too dark, really dark.it’s so cold. PLEASE HELP ME.

i dunno if i wanna see day light again, am i waitin for the day. i pray this night never ends, let it be the end.

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dead
10

03

2006



im so sad, one of my fish ’s dead.

guess it got fish flu! im gonna cry for 3 days.

aha why i cant stop the bad habit of buzzing?!it’s really bad, got it?!?!

you’re bothering everyone! hope i could stop my fingers from pressing ctrl+G !


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Categories : byebye, thoughts

aRCHIVE MARCH 2006 PART 1

fish bowl
9

03

2006


fish bowl what’s fish bowl?!?

guess it’s something like bowl of soup.

it’s where we can put fried fish on it with potatoes, onions, carrots,parrots….!?!

i have no idea what fish bowl is, but i got a glassy sphere (aka glassphere like atmosphere) and put my fish there. it’s jus too big for ‘em or maybe they are too small. either way i have t opour over 3 liters of water to fill it some how, not completely but jus half of; it’s not really important, seems they like it, that’s it & that’s enough.

does anyone know why i press wrong letter everytime & then gotta use back space to correct it?!

no idea?! good then!

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won
9

03

2006


wow it’s great, im really happy about ac milan & arsenal & barcelona victory. more than that it’s really cool that i dont have to hear about chelsea in champion’s again!

yihihhii

hhhmmmm i like soccer, do you have problem with this sport?!

if so you better hang yerslef!

i wanted to write about Oscar but it’s not really worth it X_X

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why few bloggers write about poor, disabled guys?
7

03

2006
hhhmmm i really dunno the answer, this is what i read in a friend’s blog & promising her i would write a post about ‘em.
but the truth is when you feel lonely & miserable yerself & yer writing about your misery & daily life, you’re talking about poor people somehow.
but as long as i promised i wanna write about life of the handicapped in US (sometimes i wish i was disabled for a few & many advantages, im gonna say)
as everyone know these people are highly respected. alomost every cross section has special lights with familiar pulses so even blinds can cross streets& find the desired direction.
all the places that normal people can go is equipped for disabled too. most buses & public transport have automatic ramps. ( i have only seen once, seems it’s not really useful; jus waste of dough.lol.)
buildings have ramps too; there are special elevators for the disabled everywhere even in places that have few stairs & using lift is uneconomic. (e.g. 84th ave. )

most restrooms (over 90%) in public places have special designs for the disapbled
places like gym have special lockers & showers for the handicapped. but the most important thing isthe special parking places.
this is one of the most important thing to consider when we have lack of parking space. well there are many illegal parking places but parking in those places is equal to being towed & paying at least 1000$ plus 20 $ for each day that’s kept.
so you better not to think about those free illegal spaces even a milisecond.
-i wanna be handicapped!!!!!-

aha if you like to park in such places you gotta have a handicapped licence plate!

in ceremonies that a deaf guy comes there should be special translators to translate each and every part of it even the songs….
aha i forgot the captions!
guess im done!
mission complete. hihihihi

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gotta study
7

03

2006
gotta study gotta study gotta study (X n) n=infinity

i need time; i dunno why im so shorta time!

any idea?!

ok jus a word definition

metallograph any equipment used for metallography; the very first thing you gotta use when you wanna study metals.

metallography: study of the structure of metals and alloys, particularly using microscopic (optical and electron) and X-ray diffraction techniques.



Metal surfaces and fractures examined with the unaided eye or with a magnifying glass or metallurgical or binocular microscope at magnifications less than 10 diameters can reveal valuable information as to the crystalline, chemical, and mechanical heterogeneity.

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byebye
5

03

2006


byebye everything, im checking something for a while.

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closed
5

03

2006
this place is closed for a while for some reasons i dunno.

maybe i post tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe never.

till then have a nice time

besides i aint gonna buzz or PM or IM or e-mail or mail (snail mail) anymore.

no more happy anything (includes e-cards, cards, gifts….)

i pray to lord never comes the day light.

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my pets & kids
3

03

2006
wanna see ‘em, lemme try to put ‘em here

sorry didnt load

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no more
2

03

2006




i dunno who i am, but feeling blue is boring; let’s rock the world, fuck life.

for the start no more metal or hard rock, let’s go dance. (well i dunno how to dance, you do i watch )

PS this is the pic i forgot to put in my previous post; do you know this nice guy?! well if not you can check official site of chelsea.

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wanna find job?
2

03

2006
this was funny, do engineers mess up every place they go? lemme think. well it’s kinda true about me, all you need is to take a little look at my desk; not much to say.

HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB?

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a
closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3
candidates in the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then
analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the
accounts department.
If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the
bricks. Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange
order. Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put
them in operations
If they are sleeping. Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them
in information technology.
If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations,
yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day. Put them in
marketing.
If they are staring out of the window. Put them on
strategic planning
.
And then last but not least. If they are talking to
each other and not a single brick has been moved.
Congratulate them and put them in top management.


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neggro
2

03

2006
if you wanna be a negga, it’s jus easy; all you need is: a very loose trousers ,specially jeans, (multiply yer size by to subtract one); then two t-shirts (with the same size formula) that the sleeves of underneath t-shirt must be longer. remember that yer t-shirt should be near yer knee, if it’s not get another. then add different necklaces of any kind & size. a pair of sneakers (the dirtier the better)+ cap put on upside down. if it’s winter some other equipments are added. dont forget the headphones in yer ears!

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eerrrr
2

03

2006
im feeling lonely, im feeling blue, but wait a minute….

no im feeling white, yellow,red, cos i have a few things to cheer me up, im a happy rich guy, i have lota money. how?!

no i didnt win in lottery; im jus comparing meself to other things & other guys.

im jus a few steps away from the guy in the picture; lovely aint it?!

im not ok, i have a terrible sore-throat; i feel a bit hot, guess i have fever. somebody get me some fruit juice.

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eat eat eat
1

03

2006
hhhmmm eat?!

when you dont have money dont eat!

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ordinary as hell
1

03

2006


im ordinary , dammed ordinary but didnt notice it. when i was young, i was a naughty kid who enjoyed climbing anything specially walls & trees; when grew older i was so fond of dynamics , mechanics & 3D integrals; when went to university thought i have something to say; something new.

now i realized i havent achieved anything, im not special, jus an ordinary guy that a few people notice, actually no one.

all the days are the same, getting up, checking mails…., goin to school (aka univ.) back, checking blogs…, sleep. add some meal to it too.

im so ordinary no one can see me, no one cares noticing me. im ordianry; not tall not short, not thin not fat (well maybe a bit thin); not ugly not handsome; not shabby not well-dressed.

im ordinay, the same ol’ jeans, the same ol’ sneakers (gotta replace it but no money, no honey), the same cap, the same dark clothes, the same backpack, the same loud music. crawling to an empty space in a bus or train, opening a thick book & drowning in , not paying attention to the suroundings.

im jus ordinary, so dont ask much about me.

im ordinary as hell, dont bother yourself knowing about me.

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aRCHIVE fEBURARY 2006 PART 2

home27 02 2006
home, sweet home.
my heavens, it’s dammed cold, something round 10, i think i’ll be dead soon.Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : hell
to have or not to have24 02 2006

what a weird question? to have or not to have! hhhmm what i wanna have?!
well im talking about friends, i mean buddy. some one you can trust , someone you can LOVE, someone who cheer you up when crying, someone to give you courage when you need, someone to lean on when weak & things like this.
do i have such a person? nope. am i that close to anyone? nope
when you’re expecting such things from someone, you gotta do the same for him/her. am i that responsible? nah
so
Got no time to be on the roadGot no holes in my shoesYou’re the reason all my friends are goneBut I won’t run from you
guess i wanna be on my own, alone, i need such a person but im not ready to do my responsilities, lemme play with my toys & watch cartoons. fuck loneliness, lemme die on my own, i dont think such a person’s born yet. i dont think there’s some one as crazy as me.
let’s have a party & celebrate another depressed day. i love feeling blue. Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : my view, my love, friendship
blue24 02 2006
it’s been a while that i feel really depressed, i dont like smiling, i dont feel like cheering.
i thought it’s not obvious but it’s dammed clear. it’s fun somehow. people keep asking “what’s wrong dawg” and me jus lie “nothing, im ok”
the truth is i dunno the answer, i think i can never smile again, this world makes me sick. there’s something wrong in it that affect my feelings. i dont wanna smile, i dont wanna cry, i wanna be sad, jus sad.
everything’s late, wanna know why? i tell you, there’s nothing fair in this world, good people dont have money, poor people are jus poor, when you need the money you dont have it, lack of money cause lota problems, on the other hand bad guys have lota money, hey lord why everything’s so complicated?
note: password protected: means i didnt want you to read it & i didnt want it in my diary, ok?Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : thoughts
cliche’23 02 2006

it’s all the same, the same struggle, the same man.
do i have the chance to change?
my thoughts will be wondering the way it always do, all creepy & repetitious.
i jus wanna run away but i know it’s useless, who am i hiding from?!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
you little asshole, dont fuck with me!23 02 2006
there are times i hate myself, for being weak for trying to be like others, eagerly forget my goal in life. i want to cheer everyone up. when i’m sad i put on my indifference mask, people think im torpid, self-centered,apathetic creature. i hate ‘em. do i have the right to hate ‘em . nooooo
so i jus try to ignore’ em. let ‘em think as they like, let ‘em say what they want, im created for a heavenly goal, im created to ignore the materials around me, not to get involved in earthly matters, pass Lord’s ordeal, gotta be a winner in the presence of Lord. i wanna be proud of myself for doing the right thing. i try to make everyone happy no matter how it hurts, little surprises can bring lota happiness & joy. jus to know someone’s thinking about you. i really dont want much in life, i want heaven, Lord created it for us but we gotta prove that we’re good enough to taste his so many kindness. to meet the creator.
but sometimes i feel im weak, when yo udo something for someone, they become happy if oyu do it several times, they think it’s your duty. wtf! it’s not my job to cheer you up, have you ever thought that i can be sad too, i dont have a heart of stone, im a living creaure with lota feelings, dont batter me with your heavy boots & it’s not that difficult to think i need someone to love me too, to hold me when im down, im not a ladder for your improvements.
so better becareful with every step you take, watch out , you’re crushing that flower.
remember it’s not my duty to bring smile on your face when you’re sad, to surprise you with little funny stuff on special occasions, wait a second & see i have needs too, asimple thanks wont be hard & dont insult me when i have no energy left to make you happy. i will love you , i will cheer you up, but it’s not my DUTY.
PS i lost my mask, tolerate this sad look please Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : duty
Protected: Lies & Truth: my real identity22 02 2006
This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:
Password:Edit : EditComments : Enter your password to view comments Categories : no salvation
what i am?22 02 2006

sometimes im feel depressed, down in the dumps, i hate myself, i hate everyone, i think nobdy cares about me, other times im quite lively & lovely, i can cheer you up if you dont put all your sorrow on me, i cant carry yours, i have my own problems. i do anything for a friend but i hate lies, stop playing silly games! Edit : EditComments : 4 Comments » Categories : feelings
Act I:20 02 2006
Scene 1: dark cold room, loud music playing, the familiar magical sound of Burton’s bass, “pulling teeth”.
Half burned cigarette left on the edge of the cupboard, half opened fridge, water pouring into the glass, cry of “SHIT” can be heard from miles away.
Scene 2: the relaxing tone of bass turned to the disgusting voice of J.Lo “fucking ^$&$&%$& , who shitted my CD?!”. Angrily looking for the remote control, me appears on the stage! Oooppps TV off, kneeling on the floor looking for Forbidden album of Black Sabbath.
Back to the kitchen with the glass still in my hand looking for some aspirin! As soon as findin’ one, swallowed without hesitation.
Scene 3: ringing bell me running to the door asking “who’s it?” .in a second the door is opened , somebody handed me a hot edible thing. “Thanks “
Without looking , threw the food to the fridge, no appetite at all.
Grabbing the still burning cigarette, turned on the light, ‘tallica in , speakers on, volume up.
“Exit light, Enter night…”
Pc on, a blank page of Diary infronna me. “No, Not again!” phone ringing non-stop.
Running to the living room, hung up. Back to the bedroom opening window a bit letting fresh air to enter the space.
Scene 4:throwing the ashes to the trash can , lighting another cigarette “ this is the last!” conscience speaking:” Don’t fuck with me!”
Endless sound of clicking on the keyboard & coughs, the page’s not blank anymore , cigarette still burning; pain remaining in my gum & taste of blood in my mouth.
Another day’s finished!
Notes:1. I really pulled my tooth out!
2. I have a nice neighbor that sometimes gimme some good meals! Hihihi
3. there’s lota pain in my mouth
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doom & gloom20 02 2006

jus another day, as usual. i had lota things in my mind , none of ‘em available now, dumpped!
nothing special about today, that ol’ story, mood!
no right to cry , no aim to try.
i lost it again; so many nightmares, so many terrible things.not a smile in the corner of my lip.
jus too tired to do anything, outta energy.
dont talk to me; im not in the mood. another dentist appointment, pulling my wise tooth! im wondering what would happen to me without my wise tooth. no more wise quotes!
let the sky cry
everybody laugh at you
drowning again in hell
nobody is mad at you!

the truth about me:i convicted myself, i became no one. i convicted human beings, i became wicked. i convicted God, i became heathen!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
what can you expect in the days to come?19 02 2006

It is hard to make a list of all the joy and happiness you may hope for, but I can tell you that the most incredible events may happen to you anytime now… such as:
1
win a large sum of money(that, I know that it may happen to you, for I have foreseen it clearly)
2
find your Special One, or find again True Love
3
make some new and interesting encounters
4
finally find the Solution for this dreadful problem that you had
5
succeed in any exam or test you are about to enter
6
have a promotion
7
win the fight that opposed you to a person or an institution
8 somebody stop this crap!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : Uncategorized
thinking19 02 2006
im thinking
so many things in my mind but no time to type, guess ica ndo it tonight
have a nice weekEdit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : creepy univ.
Born to lose17 02 2006

just as soft as the wind
you came in & spread your seed
thought i would be silent
and never ask you “why!”

who gave you the right
to tear me apart

wasnt i innocent to your eyes
so stop those devilish cries

leave me alone, let me vanish
it’s much better to get ravished

you thought i dont have a mind
you were wrong, im not that kind

jus pull out your dagger outta my heart
let it bleed till the last drop of blood

i know i was no better than you
you called me loser & i lost for you

i wasnt born to lose you baby
it wasnt my will to break your body

dont lean on me, im just too weak
dont let me fall, not another trick

i loose your hand, wont bite the quick
it’s the only way to end this hide & seekEdit : EditComments : 3 Comments » Categories : hell
everyday17 02 2006
Every day i open my eyes, there’s no difference, it’s jus all th same. the day light would come,in an hour or so. i just make another shedule like other days, call it different & leave the home.
another week means another fighting, another race to begin. getting up ,eating ,checking mails, running for the bus, going to classes, no time for lunch, checking mails again, updating blogs, again classes , back home , TV , reading, sleep. it’s jus all the same. some one’s puffing my life candle like mj, i dont like it, i have to stop it.
another day begins, i feel it’s my day, i try to feel happy & smile, keep your lips up & show your tooth to others, when you smile , no matter fake or real you get another smile; i know what goes on in others mind “how can he smile at this terrible life?” who said im smiling im mocking & mugging, decieving myself.
i look for new things in the same ol’ path, looking for new guys in the same ol’ bus, reading my books & listening to my loud music, trying to pretend there’s nothing in life that can bother me;
sometimes i wonder how i can play in such a silly game, when i know there’s nothing left in my pockets & cards gazing at the bars, waving for tipsy guys & waiting for another shining star to rise, call it my star & smile at it, then realize it was only light of a chopper flying away.
i like the city i live in, i like the people i meet everyday, i like smiling at strangers saying morning ; but you know what, it’s jus a dream , it’s jus a lie, i turn on my player & wait for a bus, i dont smile, i dont try to wave others goodbye, i jus go & come, nobody ever see me, nobody ever talk to me, nobody wait to shake a hand, i never hear “what’s up dawg!” im a nobody. so i close my eyes & pray to lord to cut my rope or blow my candle, all i wanna do is cry & die.
this endless swamps & whirl pools of nothingness & depression’s killing me. i want some one to hold me tight , to push me forward, God i need strength, im outta my mind again.

a>

aRCHIVE fEBURARY 2006 PART 0

some thoughts so i can feel better3 02 2006

a new discovery for today. there’s nothing funny about me, why?!?
i was blogging around (sth like fcukin’ around) & pressing link to links, awsome. i cant get it. why some bloggers have so many comments even if they type ahhhha, 100 guys are there to comment, & me spending such a long time typin’ (cos im not quick in typin’ if i try to type fast then i gotta spend a long time correctin’ my mistakes! )
there’s another thing i cant understand, the are few popular blogs that are really good, new…., the really good ones are jus anonymous!
(scratchin’ my almost bald head, dont we have sucha smiley?!!?) hhhmmmm i dunno who decide on the hot blogs, they’re jus shit or maybe there’s sth wrong with me understanding their language :((
ok never mind, as long as there’s this guy with his cool humor, i dont mind; but this means hours of bloggin’ around to find the right place .ehhhmmmm
there’s something im a bit worried about. i dunno this room’s so hot or i have fever. it’s not really good. do you know how long does it take me to die of avian flu (aka donkey flu)?!!?

hhmmm what else?! another discovery is i need breakfast & nobody wants to make it for me; nevermind, gotta do it myself.
me rocks, clap for me!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : feelings
I’m not ok3 02 2006

i feel terrible, everything’s rotating round my head, my body’s too heavy for my feet to carry it.
this terrible dizziness is killing me.
let’s not talk about the headache & stomachache. i dunno how long i’ve been sleeping; but it wasnt really useful. :l
i feel weak, no energy in my bloody body to move a finger.
maybe i have avian flue :), no it’s not possible, i didnt eat any chicken recently, i dont have fever, im as cold as fridge.
im just SICK. Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
HELP1 02 2006
A pen pal is needed, asap.
wanna replace him/her with sb else
please mail me soon!Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : thoughts

aRCHIVE fEBURARY 2006 PART 1

the -y- poem16 02 2006

tears don’t come down my eye
i hate the moment you say good bye

when you’re away, you make me cry
when you’re around, it’s jus pry

all i want in life, is a way to fly
but it’s all failure, no matter how hard i try

there’s no answer to my question :”why?”
all i got every day is another simple lie

all you do makes me feel like a stir-fry
so leave me, i wanna be alone and die

hmmmm not too bad for the begining, it’s jus another creepy thought full of YEdit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : feelings
soundblog:16 02 2006

yeah soundblog’s the future of this little cornor we have to let ourselves out, it’s fun to hear the blogger’s voice instead of reading every post, we can feel how they really felt that time, then bloggers can have live posts & jus imagine talking comments! some one shouting, some one crying.
it sounds quite weird but we can have such things in the future years, all we want is new materials & new programs. that’s what i like about materials, i know i can never make a new material but maybe i can suggest a new thing, materials’re so dammed important , the bricks of industry & technology; what a good brilliant boy i am, choosing such a cool field;
aha i was talkin’ about sound blogs, how do you like ‘em?!
sounds cool, but i prefer the ol’ typin style, hiding behind the thick-thin walls of wires & chips.
one more thing, there wont be much change in the style of crap here, if you dont like it, dont read it (hehehehhe) i dont have much time to post thoughtful stuff, btw i never think! Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
HEAVEN IN BLACK14 02 2006
If only you had known to be honest was wrongFor the work that you’ve done you will pay with your eyesDon’t be afraid you will never lose your love.
Into the black where the night never ends and the lightLeaves a scar on your soul where your heart used to hold your love here!Heaven in Black
Inside there’s a voice saying was there a choice?You’d still be entombed in the nightLucifer’s to blame, the reason for the flameThey’ve taken your sight but they’ll not take your GodDon’t be afraid you will never lose your love.happy valentine
what a disgusting terrible day Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
Project13 02 2006
Dear prof
i do need a project to graduate, why are you jus ignorin’ me!
i do want a project in advanced material, specially anything bio, why you want me to take a extraction, huh?!
i gotta cry, i gotta check others, why summer, geezzzz i wanna rest in summer, i wanna go on vacATION, i don want workin on hot summer days.
i need help, i need project Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : creepy univ.
FNS12 02 2006
hhhmmm what am i supposed to write for this topic considering i have a little time to write cos i gotta check library & go to my class
aha lemme see, let’s start it wit my legs.
i gotta thank my creator for giving me only 2 legs, jus imagine if i had 1 or three, hhhmmm i dunno how i had to walk & as it’s obvious i’m outta my mind, everything looks like a real hell.
i may write more later, better go!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
Valentine11 02 2006
jus lookin’ at the calender, whoaaaaaa it’s 11th , jus 3 days!
& then boogie! i dont have a list of human beings for this day! that means savin’ money. lol!
hhhmmm guess i better go buy myself a new pair of shoes & a red rose, too romantic ain’t it?!?!
ok if you think nobody loves you & wont send you card, jus mail me, i’ll do it
time for studyin a bit, been out in the few last days & didnt open a page.
i was thinkin of my project & last night i had a dream, sth about dia magnetic itergranular stress or like, but i cant remember ; better go to bed & maybe i dream of it & write it down! heheheheEdit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : my view, my love, friendship
happy birthday to those born on 10th feb.10 02 2006
happy birthday Cliff
let’s play pulling teeth in the memo of him.
Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : friendship
quote9 02 2006
“Maybe to the world you just one person, but to one person you might be the world.”
me: really?!
Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : friendship
cyber or real:conclusion8 02 2006

i’ve thought & written so many times about this subject, at last i came to a conclusion.
there’s no end to real friend ship, real i mean real, with your heart, but about cyber there’s no limit to your friends, if got tired of one, there are many others, so there’s a time limitation.
once i thought i can replace real world with cyber world, but you know! it’s unpossible! or i wont do it!nothing can be as real as real world, i close the gates & move to my castle, i don care about the surrounding world, but be sure whenever you knock i open the gates for friends, i rest my case Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
dunno8 02 2006
bbb…..bbbb….bbbbb…..my mind’s blank, no honestly it’s not, it’s jus restin & in peace.i spent most of yesterday thinkin’, thinkin’ and thinkin’ (too much thinkin’ i didnt saw the bus, neither the driver,lucky nothing happened!)it’s fine to start yer day with stress & anger & end it in deep depression.when i saw a friend’s drawings i told meself:”wow, she’s so talented & i’m jus a piece of shit, livin’ on this earth for a while what do i have to show?!” truely nothing.been watchin’ tv a bit , so many religious debates , some of ‘em really good; now i wonder how i dared denying someone that obvious, some how, still deep in my soul (not really deep but not superficial)i fight with God, accusing him to be unfair to some guys, jus imagine you were born in a really really poor family, you couldnt pay the bills, no money to pay for fuel and gas in below -10C winters, sleepin outside on christmas , who’s to blame?i really dunno if i have the right to say what’s right & wrong, surely i dont, but i say it; i judge people by their appearance, am i a fool? no, i’m jus human being. i really dont get it why humans are created , what have they done? jus ruinin’ everything, being demanding, killing each other, not at all useful! or maybe again i’m wrong, he’s perfect so there should be the creation of human with so many mistakes to make during his/her life.there are lota things i dunno & i would never know, i’m not that smart, i have lota limitations as a human being, lord knows better!the more i see, the worst i feel. the feeling of wasting my time & life & can’t stop it, im jus wasting the time i’m responsible for & i gotta answer in the presence of lord on the resurrectoin day, judgement day. i was tellin’ sb i dont have any talents, i’m jus a dweeb & he said you’re insultin’ a God’s creature, i always thoght if i commit a suicide, i did sth good, being useless & a piece ‘o shit better not to pollute earth more, lota people would live in ease. now i know i dont have the right to do such a foolish act, it’s jus like killing someone else, & then i asked myself do i have the right to kill sb else? would i murder sb for jus bein’ a pain in the ass? no i wouldnt.im not a fool, jus enjoy ignorin’ the obvious things.in the last few days i had a good experience, i jus didnt feel like eating, i was hungry sometimes but keep ignoring it, noting like fastin’, when you fast you jus dont eat for 12-15 hours, then you can eat as much as you like, but i jus felt like i can live without eatin for days, any time i ate i jus didnt enjoy it, jus like an obligation, dammed it’s a human need, lord gave us the appetite & the chance to enjoy his gifts & be grateful,then i watched devil’s advocate (for the 5th times), i really love that movie specially the last 10-20 minutes when kevin(keanu reeves) asks Satan-his father- (al pacino) who’s god?i dunno if you watched it or not, but im jus puttin it here to remind myselfSatan:’who’re you carrying those bricks for? God? lemme give you a little inside information about God.God likes ot watch, he’s a prankster. he gives man instincts, and then what does he do? i swear for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gag reel; he sets the rules in opposition.it’s a goof of all time; look but dont touch, touch but dont taste,taste but dont swallow. & while you’re jumpin from one foot to the next, what is he doing? he’s laughin’ his sick fuckin’ ass off.”& the story goes on. it’s such a great movie,sometimes i think the above sentences are quite right, why God gives us so many instincts & then forbid, promising heaven that we have no idea whether it exists or not & frigtening us of hell that there’s the possibility it doesnt exist;i know you knew all those, i wasted yer time, but imagine you wanna find God, you didnt know those,(or forgot it or ignored it) you weren’t taught so many things since the very young age & you gotta discover it yourself, challengin’ so many things, bannin’ so many things, and let’s not talk about the inner pressure you have, you gotta make peace with your fuckin’self.i wish it was jus like learnin how to melt iron how to purify it, you could melt yer soul & it was purified; lemme do a confession, there are times i say to meslef, fuck God, he’s so mean, i need to think dirty, islam’s such a perfect religion for guys givin’ em the right to have 4 wives, but it’s not.i always thought islam’s all obligations, fastin’ prayin’ so many rules against women, heaven i didnt know it’s the most reflexible religion in the world, behind every rule & obligation there’s a philosophy you have to think& read for ages & then you might understand jus a very little of it.i hate myself for bein such a jerkass all the time, i dont think i can ever go to heaven, i’m jus like a cow who gives lota milk & the very last minute with a kick spill all of it.i’m jus tired of the struggle, im jus tired of bein so weak,bein such a pain in ass creature, i know he loves me but i cant see the reason.i wanna be good, i wanna deserve heaven, but what if i cant be good, so better die soon, so i dont dirty my soul more. yeah, Lord can you hear me, didnt you say ask anything you want and i give you. i want death, i hate this life, it’s useless, it’s meaningless, i dont want money, i dont want have my own job, family, home…. i jus wanna be good.how can you love me when i’m not lovely at all!God i wanna ask you sth, i need your help, i need your help, can you hear me!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
a bull in china shop7 02 2006
d’ahhhhh i dunno what’s wrong with me today i keep stubbing my toes & feet to any possible thing like bed, chair, fridge…. the result was that the chair fell down & made a terrible sound early in the morning (5am) guess i woke the whole street up, i have a terrible pain in my knee now, hope i dont stub into bus, train & profs cos any of them can make a lota trouble, i’m still feel like partyin; so does everyone & everything that’s the reason it’s so cloudy & cold & everyone enjoy hurting my feelings,
hey yo out there i’m happy , it’s great but did i say you can insult me!?!? ;(Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
rock & roll6 02 2006
i wanna be a rock & roll star….
hey no , im not serious!
im just too happy.
mission complete, me extremely happy, all the subjects passed.
seems life smilin again!
Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : feelings
guilty as hell4 02 2006
hhhmmm
new term seriously started, nothing for today
i want lunchhhhhhhhhhh Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts

aRCHIVE JANUARY 2006 PART 2

BLANK-ET31 01 2006
not much blogging lately!
holy shit, i’m tired of fcuking round blogs & getting to the same things i hate every now & then!
there are guys who love their counter hit hundreds per week, i enjoy having readers, i dont deny , but there are times i really like it to be private, this is why i have 3-4 pages (means different subjects) in my idaily but no post!
the thing you can do to make yer blog have many readers:
1. comment on any available shitty creepy page! so yo can get all those shitty creepy bloggers to yours.
2. writing about above 18 stuffs! i tried this one & this really works.
3. HNT:i hate this abbr. it get on my nerves, whenever i roll down a page & see that bloody thing i close it, wtf! it’s a while it’s spread in blogger world, i wanna be serious with myself, do we need these readers?!
ok i know all i write bs & not many (aka no one) read this shit, but i dont care, i like blogs like my own, not always writing about their daily activities but their thoughts!

hhhmmm what else to say?!
You just stood there screamingFearing no one was listening to youThey say the empty can rattles the mostThe sound of your voice must soothe
yeah ‘tallica again, that’s why i like it, it jus has the right thing at the right time!
geez blank again!
sth to laugh:
i’m crazy becoz: qaurter means one third ; january has 30 days, loud music is a good replacement for jogging when you’re not in the mood!
what i got on TV this week?
hhhmmm tmnt (episode 12) + a nice guy talking about so many benefits & advantages of celery, the most important one to name: extracting the juice& drinkin it helps yo lose several pounds! really perfect for me!
why dont they talk about how to put on weight?!?!
i made myself some cre’me caramel& it tasted yucks, but i know it used to be yummy, guess i dont like sweet things anymore!
that’s it!
*hnt: half-nekkid thursday
edit: i lied about hnt, i look at the pics carefully then close the page
im gonna make my own fns=full naked sunday! heheheh Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
shiiiiiit30 01 2006

here goes another term!
Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
Gong Xi Fa Cai!28 01 2006
hmmm what does that mean?!
ok have a doggie year, full of dogs!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
cold, flood, blood, mod….27 01 2006

it’s raining, yeah raining cats & dogs.
i wanted to take a shower out! too cold!
everywhere’s covered by water, so better find my swiming suit!
hey anyone knows how to upload a pic here!?!?
geez, better get back to my work!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
two weeks with the moron; day 13& 1424 01 2006
i’m done
that’s it
check here
http://planetofzorgs.blogspot.com/Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
two weeks with the moron, day 12; almost there20 01 2006

wow, i feel a lot better, i finished my 2 papers, gotta study for tomorrow& then have a whole week off, it’s gonna be amaazin’ i have loa things to watch & do.
i’m gonna make a few changes here too!Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : thoughts
two weeks with the moron;day eleven19 01 2006
i feel good today but still busy, 2 papers to finish & a book to read, awsome!
let it be as they like, i’m kinda in the middle of blankness, but no bad feeling & that’s good. yesterday i was ready to cry if found the right guy, aha i watched fantastic 4 forthesecond time, once in English & once in farsi, i had no idea why they censored so many parts!
just 3 more days & i’d be back to normal.
have a nice time till then.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
two weeks with the moron;day eleven19 01 2006
i feel good today but still busy, 2 papers to finish & a book to read, awsome!
let it be as they like, i’m kinda in the middle of blankness, but no bad feeling & that’s good. yesterday i was ready to cry if found the right guy, aha i watched fantastic 4 forthesecond time, once in English & once in farsi, i had no idea why they censored so many parts!
just 3 more days & i’d be back to normal.
have a nice time till then.Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : thoughts
two weeks with the moron; day ten, misery18 01 2006

i’m jus a mixture of nothing, all nothing, hell i feel so bad, like someone’s tearin’ me apart, jus want somebody gimme a big pile of courage, a push, a bag of hope. i dammed need it, it’s all stress that i cant tolerate, i have a terrible feeling of anger & misery; all my fault again, & i dont have enough faith in myself, i wanna cry & vanish; i wanna hang myself, i have a brain full of uncategorized items, oh God please help, i dont wanna fail cos it means my mental death, i dont wanna go through another foolish term like the one i had last year, i dont want to repeat over & over , like an endless story, wish me luck & pray , i really need it.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
two weeks with the moron;day seven,eight ,nine15 01 2006

i’d be dammed busy with the books; that’s it.
yesterday i ate lunch at 4 pm & went to bed before 7, now i woke up & it’s 4.10am next morning
i was fuckin’ tired.
at last i saw my nightmare completely, i was tired of seein’ somebody pulling back my hiar, at last he cut my head off, i feel a lot better
aha i chatted with my friend after a long time; i thought it was great; but now i feel really bad. i shoudnt promise the thing i’m not sure i can do. so i decided to think about it later; argh i dont like serious things.
but i promise to keep my promise !heheheheh:(Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
two weeks with the moron day six: registration14 01 2006
dooahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it sucks as hell
why full?
i jus cant get it; let’s pray i can fix it later.
wanna go home cos i’m starvinEdit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
two weeks with the moron;day five BUSY13 01 2006
i’m just tryin to manage my time; i have to & i must.
so for today just a link to the promised pics:
http://mypictureshost.blogspot.com/2006/01/snow1.html
Sleeping very soundly on a Saturday morning,I was dreaming I was Al Capone.Rumours going round, gotta clear out of town,Smell like a dry fishbone.Here come the law, gonna break down the door,Carry me away once more.Never, never, never want it anymore,Gotta get away from this stone cold floor. Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
two weeks with the moron;day four gloomy gloomy gloomy snow!12 01 2006
what should i write here?! i’m really sleepy & dammed tired; i feel a lil bit sore throat; yep & a little feverish; haven’t seen sun for over a week now ;third day of almost non-stop snow; i wanna make a big snowman; i wanna ski; no way! gotta stay in! hhhhmmmm why? well i have a terrible exam waitin’ on wednesday; actually 2! holy shit. hhmm got another deadtime for my papers;24th! yipee; so i can write 2-3 pages everyday & get it finish! About today’s exam; better not say anything cos over 60% just said:”gonna fail”. i’m sayin the same!? well not actually; i think i can get at least 60! ok i hope so! gotta get back to my books; i should put a reminder on the door not to forget registretion times; it’s crazy when you haven’t finished yer exams; what i gonna do?!?!?!?!? let’s focus on this finishin’ term; i’ll get to business later. how much i wanna suck on an icicle. or jus some snow with hot chocolate; yes that’s a good idea; i’m gonna make myself hot chocolate this evening. i really cant keep my eyes open; i have to pass my partial equations; I MUST; yes i must; that’s the truth. today i spent another day thinkin’ about gettin’ master’s in management or why not literature!hhhhmmm?! yep sounds good; then i can sing a poem while the molten iron’s pourin’ in the cauldron waitin’ for the slag to be removed, wow it’s so romantic or i’m just toooooo sleepy;byebye. i wanna dream sun , cos it’s a while i dont have any idea whether it’s day or night. :l i’ll send some snow covered pic links tomorrow.wait for it yoohahahahah. if nothing was sent then i’d be possibly frozen!Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : feelings

aRCHIVE JANUARY 2006 PART 1

two weeks with the moron; day three:”daydreamin or what!?”11 01 2006
just a few more discoveries on the shit i spread in my environment & then back to study.
some fact files about me:
i’m really tired of hearin’ the same things in the last few weeks & days, for instance:
1. me:”if only i had more time.”
2.me:”i need more time to finish my stuff”
3.me:”i’m gonna take next term more seriously.”
4.me:”i swear i wont play lazy ass another time; gimme more time pleaseeeeeeee” pro:”unpossible”
5.somebody “hey baby, have you noticed the changes in yo?” me:”naaaaaaaaaaah”
6.the same sombody:”hey boy, you grown up in an unbelievable speed, welcome to the adults world.” me:”??????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!kiddin’ ,right?”
7.some wise guy:” how do you do that?” me:”do what?” s.w.g:”you look a lot thinner than yesterday!”
me:”aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrghhhhhh, not again!”{it takes at least 3 full eaating weeks to put on 1-2lb!)
8.some guy:”wooooooow you look like engineers!?” me:” sure?! guess it’s cos of my greasy hair”
9.me:”when can i get rid of this remainin’ papers?” my conscience:”when you rest your ass on the chair & write it.” me:” really?! yo outta yer mind!hehehehehe”, my conscience frowns.
ok just the summary of my day & the comin’ days.
wooooooooooooooy gotta hand my papers on saturday, jesus christ , it’s impossible
i have a terrible hydro examtomorrow; oh my god, it sucks; how can i get my stinky brain on the whole book in a day; it takes ages to finish it.
just imagine i finished it in time; had my exam; finished me 2 papers(at least 20-30pages each,sob!)before friday noon; super impossible!!!! then i got registeration for next term,ouuuuuuuuuch; it’s all mess, i wanna finish in a year & holy shit most of the subjects i want is not on the list; let’s pray i can do it the way i like, oh my……
ok then i have 3.5 days at most to finish my iron extraction books(somebody help meeeeeeee) & finish the partial equations ;my true all time nightmare;oh heavens; my math sucks; who said i gotta read this foolish advanced stuff when i cant solve a simple differential equation?; sooooooooooooob. i gotta be Einstein to get rid of this hell.
and after that takin’ two terrible exams in a day; i have 2 fuckin’ days to find a way to get rid of my last exam; my last nightmare.
ok if i was still alive till sunday22nd; i can enjoy a week before 30th january & the new term(ohhhhhhhhhhh…..)i’m gonna spend at least 2 days in the snowwwwwwwwwwwwww
& if still alive; i’m gonna step into a hectic miserable year to launch into the last step i wanna take before death; Master’s; so seems at last i grew up; it’s not lovely to imagine gettin’ up early in the mornings, wearin’ suits & ties….,havin’ the disgustin’ job in a cubicle& live the very splendid life of a robot called hell boy robot.
d’ oahhhhh who let me get my ass in this terrible things that surley none of my business; i wanna play with my toy guns & cars, break windows, climb walls, break other kids’ toys, make snowman(there’s a nice snow comin’, makin’ me feel like daydreamin’ skiin’ hikin’ woooooooooooow it’s cool!).
i dont wanna grow up, i dont wanna, don wanna, DONWANA!
“mommy, can i have an icecream if i make my bed?!”
sobsob, time to get back to real world, wish i could stop gettin’ older.
i try to upload some pics, here’s the link:
http://mypictureshost.blogspot.com/2006/01/snoooooooooooow.html
PS there’s a thin layer of snow(1-1.5inch) now! i took the pic an hour ago
PPS if anyone can find me a way not to be an adult, tell me; i’d be happy even if it is playin’ with dolls!geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, time’s up!Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation
two weeks with the moron; day two10 01 2006
summary
first snow
cool exam
dammed busy
lost my wallet
i need timeeeeeeeeeeeeEdit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : thoughts
2 weeks with the moron;day one9 01 2006
wow, what a great day, i wanna cry like the cryin’ sky.
i had this song in my mind:” it was the night when the sky rained fire!” yep irrelevant
geez, let’s forget this horrible exam & get to the other.
& pray i can get above 70!(keep prayin!)Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : thoughts
crazyyyyyyyy8 01 2006
today’s secret penpals day or sth like! woooy!dont think serious of my posts, at least for the next 2 weeks, till i’m done with my exams.exam time=i’m outta my mind; i have examphobia; that’s the reason i dont study!lol!guess you gotta read many crazy posts here(hehehehe)for instance today i had an unfair battle with a roach! it just kept movin’ up & down my clothes & i didnt have the access to my glasses; geez, it was cold so i couldnt get outta bathroom! so unfair; sob!next time i’m gonna take me glasses to the shower too! it keeps it clean.oops better get back to my books! Edit : EditComments : 3 Comments » Categories : feelings
hell & heaven5 01 2006

For the friendship once was so dear & for my secret box in your garbage can
January 5th, 2006, 10 days after christmas, none of my dreams came true & this new year is far beyond my tolerance.
i got this horoscope today;wish it was true, but i know it’s all lie.
SAGITTARIUS 2006 ASTROLOGICAL HIGHLIGHTS: You know what’s right for you this year — the best answers sing out to you, and you need only to listen(REALLY?!?!?). Your conviction is renewed, and deciding what is next is easy. It’s as though the sun comes out to increase the contrast and the gray areas have disappeared(I DOUBT IT!) This month brings a leader to your life.( I KNOW HIM,Izrāīl) This person teaches you how to be more resourceful and how to handle heavy responsibility with grace. It’s important to soak up all you can because in March, you’ll be leading others in much the same way.(TO DEATH) There is no way to successfully complete tasks alone. Bring your best ideas to the table at work in June, and you’ll be promoted. (PROMOTE TO HELL!)Proving yourself is still required, but if you stay focused, it won’t be a problem. There are personal dramas galore throughout June. Try not to get wrapped up in them. Less-advantaged people need your help in July. This could require you to rally friends and colleagues together, which will be fun and also have perks for your personal life.(UNPOSSIBLE) Gentle progress with loved ones is featured through the summer. Try not to push. People are who they are and will only change when ready.(CAN ANYONE LOVE ME BESIDES SATAN?!)
i read so many of these terrible crap that i can write my own book. i’m gonna do it soon & sell it to those foolish guys who believe such crap. our days are orbitin’ round our acts, thoughts & behaviors; not round the planets in solar system!
i had one of my worst days. in a second i turned to that ol’ aggressive ogre i know for years, nothing lovely about it. it’s just part of me, been shoutin’ angrily all day long, all the people around me are absolutely mad & cant remember the little naughty boy the previous day givin’ em another bright lively happy day. i cant remember that boy either; he’s gone, he’s dead.
hell i just feel sth is suffocatin’ me i wanna cry, i feel the tear drops formin in my eyes but nothing happens, i jus cant cry, i jus cant shout & wish i jus couldnt breathe.
if only i dared finishin’ this foolish struggle & all was done, one hell finished & i’d buy the one-way ticket to eternal hell, cheer.
i had the worst time of my life recently ( well i had more horrible times than this but never felt like a loser this much!) i had this intense struggle & at last i did it. & waitin’ for the consequences was worst than that, i just had no idea.
first i need a word definition:
LIE» verb (lies, lying, lied, lied) [V] ~ (to sb) (about sth) to say or write sth that you know is not true:
You could see from his face that he was lying. * Don’t lie to me!
LIAR»noun a person who tells lies:
Shelley wasn’t a very good liar .
ok, let’s get back to business. a friendship built on lies is not worth a red dime.
that’s my idea; but seems i cant keep up with my own moralities. i’m a lyin’ bitch & it’s gospel truth.
omg, what a hell i done here; my mind is in a complete mess. lyin’ is much easier than confession & the reason you confess is jus because yo wanna get rid of the preasure yo have, one lie then you gotta say more to keep the wheel movin’.
what am i doin’ on earth? well i dunno, i just cant understand why & how some people can love life so much. i hate Adam & Eve. if they hadnt eaten from the forbidden tree, then i wouldnt be here, i wouldnt exist & it was much better, better than my dreams.
ok here it is, you start your day with a little lie & then get into trouble; what a hell you can do? well another lie can fix it & suddenly you realize you are in the middle of your lies , forgot who you really are. ok well guess many guys know what i mean. it’s jus as simple as cheatin’ in yer exam then in yer job & then yer life, yer wife/husband & worst than those, yourself. nice non-stop circle.
and what else we have here; aha a great friendship is forming unfortunately on lies, & hell you like this friendship, it’s something to you, it’s so great, you just live another day to smell the heavenly scent of this friendship; it’s beyond your imagination; (maybe jus on your side, but it’s ok ) it’s not like those foolish love stories,there’s always an end to a love story, either it’s a tragedy or it’s a happy endin’ they both suck in their own way. but if this friendship’s beyond the physical limits, it’s jus a matter of souls dissolvin’ in one another. it sounds great.
this is the friendship i was ….. i dunno how to explain it, given is jus a foolish word for it, but never mind it’s about 2 guilty creatures (each guilty of their own kind).
ok imagine me on one end of this foolish heavenly satanic connection, i’m tired of everything, it’s the new year comin’ & i don’ want another guilty feelin’ ok i put all my secrets in a small box, an ugly box jus like meself & i post it to the other end of connection; i spend a whole week wonderin what happened to my box, whatif it got lost in the so many boxes of santa, whatif somewone else’s recieved it by mistake, whatif the other guy on the other end of the rope hate me,…. all nightmares & what! it was a terrible time& luckily ended, a bit disgustin but not as bad as i imagined & me thinkin’ foolishly it was all over& we can have the good experience again. heavens i was far too wrong cos i’m an idiot. today i realized i was dammed wrong; nothing look the same; all we could have was a simple foolish earthy friendship, the souls were departed without givin’ me the chance to notice& hell i was wrong, fuckin’ wrong. i was foolishly lookin’ for the other end to talk to me the way it did, to soothe me& i was really demandin’ & so did the other side; it has all changed, jus playin’ evilishly with words, BUSY, i hate it; but that’s the truth no time or space for me anymore; i had ruined all the bridges behind me, no way to go no way to return. the worst was to come, what was the meanin’ of sayin’ “i will show your dirty ugly box to others, i wanna reveal your disgustin’ face.” either it was a joke or it was a threat, it was jus like an electric shock wakin’ me up to see my nightmare came true & again i was the one & only to blame.
i’m just fuckin’ tired of this endless mistakes; what’s wrong with just bein’ me; i know the answer; i’m just all wrong, i’m a sinner & that’s it. i cant explain what i feel about that so called great friendship i was once part of it cos i dunno what exactly i feel but all i wanna do is gettin my ol’ dirty secret box back & dump it at the bottom of hell & run away as far as i can.
better go wash my face now, i hate the taste of blood & tears mixed in my mouth.
PS I know i exagerated a bit; but guess you can forgive this idiot.
Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : no salvation
all in a day work5 01 2006

the exams are crawlin’ near & near, i feel much like not doin’ anything & wastin’ my time.
the idea of quittin’ is just fillin’ my mind again, what happen if i dont take the exams? geez yo crazy. yo tired it once, yo got a big zero once& didnt move your fuckin’ ass to talk to the prof to at least gives you a satisfyin’ mark like 7-8 in order not to ruin your previous study! and what a hell my nice average dropped 2 marks & no matter how hard i try i can put it back there!
what i was doin’ today?
i was jus thinkin’ of havin’ my very own farsi blog, it’s a cool language, much better than english, you dont have to use lots of passive…. to hide the identity of the one you talkin’ about!
i spent a good 2-3 hours designin’ my very own blog & holy smokes, it looked awsome, all 3 columns, all my favorite links & friends, all the counters, colors & other additional part, all in blue. the most depressin’ design i ever seen, guess i used over 10 different blue in it; all jus a good combination of colors & what i feel. it was jus ready for the publsih, i connected to the net, opened blogger, tried to creat a new account to put my own design there & heavens suddenly the fuckin’ pc hanged. oh my god i jus thought disconnectin’ can help me, i got lots of no responding pages & had to close ‘em all. thought never mind, i’m gonna open a word doc. and paste the code there, then i can fix it later.
and hell was there, nothing to paste, all my lovely time spent for that cool thing gone to waste, i was gazed at the blank document, i felt dumb, i wanted to cry, oh my goodness, how could i know that? i was just thinkin’ of restartin’ the whole work when suddenly the electricity went off. that was the end of my dreams.
i found lots of nice farsi blog to link; i’m gonna do the whole blog thing later; i dont want another heart attack, & this disgustin’ angel’s killin’ me, jus walkin’ on me nerves & insistin’ on gettin to my books. what a hell?! it’s none of your business. jus keep your shitty mouth shut. it’s my life; i wanna ruin it & that’s it. GO TO HELL.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
nothing special in this new year.3 01 2006

everything’s getting worst. i just keep fuckin’ round …. & thinkin’ of the next hour to get into my books.
why i cant keep up with my schedule i dunno.
i hate this year, why it’s jus the same as 2005, the only good thing about it, is the world cup that’s 4-5 months time.
the other good thing is i’m tired of bloggin’ of any kind. i’m tired of sendin’ mails. i’m tired of everything cyber.guess i’m gonna spend more time playin’.
my days pass like wind,wooooooooooooow, i dont like it cos every single minute i feel i’m wasted.
ok too much said, better go.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : Uncategorized
neu1 01 2006
Glücklich neu Jahr Happy new year To those guys who are wondering what a hell’s written here.Be sure it’s absolutely none of their business.In case I wanted to let ‘em know what a hell’s goin’ round here. I’d surely write in English.Thanks in advance & according to my researches nosy guys go to HELL.So keep yer nose outta my place.
HAPPY NEW YEARLET’S TRY MY BEST TO TURN THIS YEAR TO ANOTHER USELESS 365 DAYS.ANY HELP & NEW IDEA TO RUIN MY LIFE TIME IS WILLINGLY ACCEPTED.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : no salvation

december archive

Judge26 12 2005
Sometimes you feel sad, sometimes you feel sorry, sometimes you wanna die
Sometimes you feel tired of being anything
So just close your eyes & forget everything, forget breathing and that’s it.

Don’t judge me, I have my own reasons, I have my own thoughts & you have no right to judge me

Am I who I think I am? Am I who I think I am? Am I who I think I am?

Court is in session and I slam my gavel down
I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m executioner too
I drink from the cup of denial; I’m judging the world from my throne
Edit : EditComments : 1 Comment » Categories : hell
Clue25 12 2005
There’s always a limit to your joy; have you noticed?!
ain’t it fun not to sleep the whole night,and Santa doesn’t knock on yer door!
it’s fun writing a 25p essay & when you came to the calculating part, you have no clue what was the total weight, so no diagram, cool!?
ain’t it magical that ya got to the underground & feeling happy & proud you remember the time of the train arrival & you’re just in time; waiting a few seconds you reallize they have changed all the schedule. what?!?!?!
ok into the train & outta it & to yer class. it’s outta this world to go to university on Sunday let alone christmas.
ya get to yer class, geez the prof’s solving a problem & yo ujust have no idea what’s goin’ on!
another problem solved & you still dammed blank. my mind still wonder in boston round the christmas trees, crowded shops, puddings, turkeys, wines & hell i have a nice piece of paper infronna me with a beautiful problem on it; it’s called quiz!
again it’s lovely to find the pressure on the upper part of cylinder while it’s rotating with a liquid in it. i love this problem,
ok problem solved ; outta class & that ol’ little digram-less essay; cool! what’s the use of an essay without diagram & analysis?!?!?
this instant pain in my stomach is really killing me, guess it’s cos of not having any edible thing in the last 12-15 hours.
merry christmas, yep it’s the best christmas in my life time.
better move my fucking ass & find a solution to my diagram error.
merrrrrrryyyyyyy christmassssssssssssssssEdit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : no salvation
Christmas Merry23 12 2005
Once again it’s 23th December & you’re getting ready for tomorrow’s eve.
Turkey, cookies, pudding…. Everything’s ready, gifts wrapped, tree decorated. Every house’s waiting for a family gathering, so it’s time to say:
“Merry Christmas”
Wish you a nice crazy night but don’t take too much or you end up in undesired places!
Wish you a happy splendid time & hope it’s yer last Christmas. Yoohahahah (satanic wish)
Hope I’d be alive to write a lot more shitty creepy crap till the next time that Santa decides not to stop by chimney.
Christmas tips to get rid of Santa:
Don’t let the fire die in yer fire place,
Don’t go to bed before 1am,
Don’t send mails & emails to Santa.
Keep calling him and asking for unpossible things & use as many as bad words you know
Write devilish verses round yer room & tree
Pretend you’re a vampire when Santa stopped by yer window
Decorate your tree with ogre shit, garlic, dragon liver….
Put giant toe instead of mistletoe on yer tree
Make a wish list & buy all of the items on it & put it by yer tree
Hang one of your smelliest socks
Play a ‘tallica album in yer player as Christmas carol
Throw snow balls at Santa’s deer
Santa Keith wishes you a devilish XXX-mas in hell
Mary Christ mask
PS I don’t mean anything, i celebrate christmas tooEdit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
Of judgment & life22 12 2005
I wanted to write something about judging people along time ago but didn’t find time, but the recent events made me rest my ass & write another creepy shitty crap.1. Appearance & judgmentAll of us have heard the “don’t judge people by their appearance” sentence at least once a while but we still do. We have some standards for choosing people we wanna talk. If someone looks shabby we try to ignore him / her & if someone’s well-dressed, that’s our ideal guy. I’m not saying it’s your point of view, I’m just talking generally (that’s foolish of me) but the thing that sometimes surprise us is when we talk with somebody; it’s just a better way to decide you like that person or not. Talking’s the only ability that humans have which distinguishes ‘em from animals. But if we think while talking that’d be the thing to make the difference, otherwise animals have their own languages!Ok that’s in the real world and everyone has his/her own principles to judge people. And to tell the truth we have lots of choices like appearances, thoughts, attitudes, behaviors….2. Cyber & judgmentThe thing that we can’t avoid is the part of our lives connected with cyber world. “ASL”; that’s the most foolish thing we can ask & we still do, we wanna have a brief image of the person we chat with.First comes age: well actually age is a comparative matter. What do we mean by 20 years, it can mean 20*365 days or it can have other meanings; like some says the judgment day is 50000 years; just imagine it; it’s so long, a lot longer than the measured time we have 2005years till now, any idea?!Considering we mean 365 days as a year that we defined it ourselves. anyway you cant have any idea if the other guy on the other side is really that age or not.The reasons people lie about their age:” maybe they wanna be younger or older than what they are, that really depends on what they think. Maybe they want more respect by showing they are older or maybe they wanna have more fun by saying they are still in their 20-30.I dunno why, but to my view I can be 25 & act like a 40-50 yr ol’ man or talk like a young teenage. Actually I can be both & that’s the truth about everyone’s character; sometimes we gotta grow up & be responsible & other times we can just be as naughty as a young boy, what’s wrong with this idea? Maybe it’s funny to see an ol’ man licking ice-cream infronna his colleagues in a confrence, but who cares if he does it at home.Then comes sex; in this case most people say the truth cos they wanna satisfy their needs. Surely you don’t wanna lie about yer sex when ya wanna find someone to spend some nights with.But sometimes we meet people who lie about their sex. Well the reasons could be:” they wanna have fun with some friends or see how they act in different situations. Sometimes people think the other gender’s much better or safer & sometimes they don’t have any special reason.The most common thing is girls acting like boys & we gotta admit they are pretty better than boys trying to act like girls & it’s proved many times in real world too!And Location comes last. It’s the most common lie & guess more than 50% lies about their location specially in chatrooms.I dunno why people lie about their location maybe they think where they live is not a good place or maybe others have bad attitude towards their country….But the thing I experienced myself is you can live in a famous & splendid(just depends on yer point of view) city like Paris, London, Washington, NY, LA… & be as miserable as a negga kid homeless ,hungry, helpless, sad… living in Africa & you can live in a third world country with people thinking hostile about your nation & you feel happy, free & alive. It’s not a matter of where we live, it’s just a matter how happy & satisfied we feel. I agree with the idea if I were born in a hot dirty room in the middle of Africa having no food to eat & no water to drink, I wouldn’t say this, yes that’s right I wouldn’t say this, but we’re talking about people generally!But the truth is no matter how hard we try to hide our true identities & no matter how successful we are in hiding different aspects of our soul (we can hide the part we don’t like to show others in cyber world) in a long time friendship we show different parts of our soul & different parts of our character unwillingly & no matter how hard we try to be polite & act nice, the true dingbats (I don’t like this word much!) cant hide for long. Guess you’re convinced by now that I am a real jerk [dingbat] & yes I don’t have the right to judge people but it’s none of yer business to judge me either.Conclusion: we might have our own reasons to hide our true identities, but I don’t understand why we should hide our feelings & thoughts, we can choose what to share & what not to share but once we shared it better be frank, lying about our feelings is actually lying to ourselves ;hiding & denying the truth to ourselves. Better be a little fair with ourselves, fuck others.I’m done, I rest my case.Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : no salvation
blood19 12 2005
i was wondering if blood samples are required in hell?!Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : thoughts
unavailable18 12 2005
people in hell are unavailable & i’m not a exception, so why you want me to call you?!?!
i haven’t found any phone here yet, direct call from hell to earth never heard of!?Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
what?!?!17 12 2005
You can do anything you like in the Neverland, but don’t confuse it with real world.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : Uncategorized
outta it15 12 2005
You just turn on the TV, yeah, that’s what I want; I really enjoy it; wars, fires, bombs, death … that’s it. I love the smell of blood; it’s so fresh, so lively, and so energetic. Just another bite of your flesh & I’ll be miles away.
You don’t need to imagine everything, you gotta try it. ain’t you tired of a being a puppet, a robot puppet, you don’t need to wait for a lucky number or a new job to change everything, just wash yer dammed eyes everyday & give your world a new look, a new breath cos there ain’t a better day for you if you don’t try.
So today exercise: wash yer brain completely; nothing’s as deadly as the loop of routines.
I’m gonna destroy everyone’s schedule, so just take the phone & dial yer number, I’m waiting outside your door.Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : no salvation
Last Breath14 12 2005
just go out, just go out and see the world with new glasses, it’s not as bad as you thought, it’s all the same. there’s no difference; the same sins, the same crimes, the same cries, the same shouts. it’s all the same. change your dimensions, change your standards, change all the refrences.gotta be flexible. gotta walk on yer hands, gotta talk with your ears and watch through your brain. gotta change. welcome home, welcome to the new born demons world.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell
Dead14 12 2005
the thing that’s really close to hell is death, no matter what part of the universe you living, it’s waiting for the time to arrive & give you its cold touch.
the funny thing’s even if you are miles away from your home, death news is something that gets to you like a flash of light. in the last week i got two of it, one was my friend’s daughter & today a pal’s nephew, cool!
i’m really used to hearing this news, i can say:” i’m sorry to hear that, griefs….,” but the truth is i dont really care, i dont really feel sorry, every minute tens of babies born, some should die & i mean it, it’s just a matter of balance.
the funny thing is when we have some good news, we enjoy it as much as we can then we share it, but when there’s something sad in our life, we just wanna let it out, thinking our sorrow is the biggest in the world, no one can understand us, their sympathy is a pile of shit.
hey, better wait a moment, why not to share the happy moments & dump the sad ones. we gotta remember, we’re not the first who lose a loved one & surely not the last, maybe when somebody says i understand, he/she really understands. dont judge people by their words, most of the times they dont mean it.
So next time you wanted to let yourself out talking about loved ones you lost, dont hesitate to inform me, i’m just waiting here with a big smile, ready to tell you i’m sorry, baby dont cry, they’re in heaven now, i really understand you.
yeah, the truth is i dont understand you, you should cry for yourself for still living in this shitty world, dont worry about your loved ones, they’re enjoying the tortures they deserve for being naughty kids of Lord on the earth.Edit : EditComments : 2 Comments » Categories : thoughts
journey to under world13 12 2005
it just started on a day like every other day; but to me it was somewhere else, i was somewhere i didnt belong to, somewhere so weird, so strange, so frightening, so disgusting like hell.
i’m breating in a new air, it’s different, there’s nothing to breathe in, it’s empty, dirty, polluted as hell.
i need sleep, maybe, maybe not, i’m not a human anymore, i’m a ghost, elf, angel, zombie, i’m nothing, just like a little microscopic creature living in hell.Edit : EditComments : No Comments » Categories : hell