I DUNNO WHY BUT I DID IT!

I'm tired of this loop starting again & again. Seems there's no end. I'm movin in that circle AGAIN.
I dunno why but I did it.
Wanderin around the streets of Big apple in the evening's a crazy idea let alone doin it at 10, so I'm CRAZY.
I dunno why but I did it.
Hell , yea hell the streets of NY is, never liked it, never liked Boston, never liked LA, never liked LIVIN!
I dunno why but I did it.
Kev was asleep, he's asleep now, I can't sleep again, I hate it, I hate insomnia, I hate breathin and I hate KEITH!
I dunno why but I did it.
There's a bar near Kev's place. I didn't drink; I hated it 'cause of that black guy, now I like BOOZE.
I dunno why but I did it.
I wasn't sure if it was open or not, it was with a few people, I could see the CARDS. Champaign
I dunno why but I did it.
Barman! I cried; gimme a bottle of lemme see, yea a bottle of PORT.
I dunno why but I did it.
A long time from last sip, it really throw up everything in your stomach that the only thing you do is RALPH.
I dunno why but I did it.
I knew it would make me sick; port for the start was too much, so I jus ran to the JOHN.

I dunno what's the use of medical center Kev took me. Though got an injection (penicillin, bethazine 1,200,000-very painful!)
Now I got a terrible sore throat that I can hardly talk.
I had 3 bowls of soup already &have a feeling of ralph, but still want sth warm go down my throat. Have I ever told ya that Kev have a collection of Tin tin books & videos. I watched red sharks today.
Wanna go to Rocky mts by the end of the week, hope I get well soon or I miss it.
Livin in NY is not bad for a change but it turns intolerable after 2-3 weeks.
The continuous coughs are killin me better go have s'me water
 

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)
I & Kev went to Catskill nice weather, a river & 2 young guys, swimmin is the best option & what comes next. Right, got the flu with 3 degrees temperature, sore throat & what else, I feel terrible, promise I won't do it again 'cause the water was really cold.
About the poem, it's nothing related to my feelings (I have a feverish feelin) j'st typed it aimlessly, & you can see nice flowers in the pic but swimming in the river's a horrible idea

 

zoboomafoo

Wow today I had a big sandwich for lunch, really big!
At last I tried it, not that bad as I thought. Kev took me to a psychiatrist!
We talked & talked & talked. Great facility Lord gave humans.
The pressure was killin me; I should have done it earlier. Lord the solution was jus infronna me & I was so blind to see it.
Not a difficult thing to grab luck when it is so within my reach.
OK what else I did, aha I watched "The home on the range", good cartoon, I should have gone to the movies.
Kev & I decided to go to "batman begins" at weekend. And what else, I had a good cry, I cried myself to sleep, and I enjoyed it; a nice, quiet, relaxin sleep. I jus gotta get rid of that nightmare. The doc told me I can't get rid of it till I enjoy it.
Yea, I love it; it's so alive, so much detailed that I enjoy seein the scene, a road, a car, a van …. Hell doin it again!
I watched sth exciting in TV, "Zoboomafoo" it was a show for kids introducing different animals like caribou, lynx, boa…
Better go now, Kev's callin me to dinner. Let's go, I love dinner, I love dinner I Love Dinner, DINNER MY TRUE LOVE!(read this part with the opera tune).
Good night

Brothers

I j'st forgot it. Thought we're so far apart, so outta reach that I almost forget him. There's an ol' sayin "blood is thicker than water" and now I understand the meaning. He wants me for what I am not for what I was or will be 'cause we're brothers.
I don't remember why I thought that we live on different planets, however it is true we are different, he's so strange so genius so lovely (unlike me, I'm an idiot with sun glasses on 'em), we are brothers.
I really love this word. Thanks Lord for givin us families.
Living with Kev is much different from livin with Doug. We have quarrels too (because of an aggressive self-interested guy called Keith) but the reasons are utterly dissimilar.
I really miss Kit now, Kev promised to come with me to San Francisco, guess it's gonna be one the best gathering of the family, meetin my cousins again.
In the previous weeks I was searching within my soul to find the lost parts. I was thinking of that 21 gram (less than 0.05lb)
It seems nothing comparing the weight of a human being!
Guess I'm gonna be a philosopher or a lunatic! Not much different from each other.
Thinkin about the price of that 21g we must pay & the price that was paid for it before givin it to us makes me wonder:"does it truly worth the trouble?"
I dunno if you're tired of these struggles or not, but I am, wanna be someone normal, like others, wanna be a puppet, wanna here that words-I'm American- it's just what I am & can't change it. I'll try to come back to my never land one day & struggle that devil inside, but not now, I'm really tired & no more strength left. Let him win this time, don't care any more. I don't care about that 21 g neither; I lost 4lb during the last week & can't stop it. I dunno how long I can go on, but these weight losses are ruinin me, killing me. Hell, I'm so tired of these docs, they can't help. Guess I have to try to save my body first then it comes my soul.
Let's try this way!

No I'm not!

Notice: Devin I beg you not to read this one or I will not talk to you any more!
I've been thinking for a while, but never with much attention, this time I was really serious, I just wanted to make sure, I must get a clear decision.
Let's go back to Sunday afternoon, I had a date but missed it. It wasn't my idea, Hugh thought meeting a new girl & spending some time with her or thinking about her, will do me good & help me not to go back to my depression swamps.
I just used one of these on line friend finders; we chatted & send e-mails for a time & then got to the point better see each other. Well sometimes you shouldn't write everything in your blog, when you know some one may read it. I sometimes felt there's something wrong in my relation with that little 11yr old Devin, but never thought it was serious. Now I'm sure I did make a mistake.
I looked at the clock 6, plenty of time, I took a shower & then put on my best T-shirt & jeans (I don't like suits, so won't wear unless I have to) then left home, it was just 7, gotta be at Labdel by 8, I jus wanted to walk to the place giving myself the chance to think carefully before doing anything. As I reached 2nd floor, Elena's door opened & Devin's head came outta the door; she told me her mother & brothers were out shopping & she was left alone, then asked me if I could stay there & play with her for a while. I had time so I accepted, her favorite game's Mr. Diamond. A set of plastic pieces with a shining part on top & set of cards, put the pieces on a tray, some moving some fixed & gotta take one each time to put on your cards, not much boring. I told her I could stat only 30 minutes so just tell me when it was 7:30, we kept on playing & I couldn't see the clock from where I was sitting & didn't find my watch to wear; any way tired of playing I found out it was 5 to eight, hell, how could I get there in 5 minutes; I ran out trying to find a cab; I got there at a quarter after eight & she was gone, I returned home feeling upset & thinking of an excuse to make, when I reached 2nd floor , Devin opened the door again, I asked:" your mom's back?"
And she was. I wasn't angry with Devin, thought she forgot to look at the clock. I just wanted to go back home when Devin asked:" you didn't meet her?" I shook my head, & she whispered "good". I felt there was sth wrong with my story, she was happy I missed my date & then I asked myself why. Without noticing I grabbed hold of the girl & asked:" you did it intentionally, didn't ya?" and indeed, she planned it knowing she was left alone at that time.
I was really furious & without saying a word I left, actually I was so crazy of my neighbors poking their noses into my personal affairs & so tired of Doug that left Boston early the next morning without saying a word.
Well they looked for me later, surprised & a bit hurt of what I did. They were not interfering in my life, I just let 'em in.
I spend a lot of time thinking about that Sunday evening, (all the way to NY) & at last I got to some conclusions.
Devin envied my date, thinking I won't play with her anymore; she just wanted to keep her play mate safe!
And I didn't need to tell her where I was going, 'cause she already knew it by reading my blog; I knew she has my address, she just found it while she was upstairs with me & my laptop's always on, so not a difficult thing for a curious girl!
The truth is I didn't want to meet Vickie; it wasn't difficult to turn my head & take a look at the clock earlier. I'm not interested in girls any more, even the time I was still with Meg. Now I know why me& Meg broke up; it wasn't her fault, it was all my fault & I was so blind I didn't notice, or may be I was just tryin to deceive myself.
I'm 24 now & think I should decide on my sexuality, I thought about it every now & then but never seriously. Since I met Clyde & Hugh I sometimes think of trying that way of life, but remembering my mom's words always persuaded me not to do that or she would never forgive me.
I'm sure that I have no feeling toward girls any more, I just don't enjoy 'em; and thinking carefully it's more than 2years,(just tried to convince myself I did care, but a big lie!) may be it's the effect of so many drugs I tried, it is possible! When I was certain about this theory, something agonizing crossed my mind. Am I gay? I don't really care if some one is, like Clyde… but it's important talking about me.
I've been thinking to it for over a day now , some times I felt I am, some times not, but at last I made my mind, I'm not. I'm not, I AM NOT!
Now I feel relaxed, I don't want any physical contact with any one neither a woman nor a man; all I need is a strong spirit to lead me to the right path; wow I feel released!
Gotta have some breakfast now!

date

Thought there's sth wrong with me; now I think I'm OK, Doug's really crazy! He wants to sell his apartment & leave Boston.
I don't like this city but I won't let him do this 'cause I don't wanna move to another place, I'm tired of moving so he gotta look for a job here & I help him. Isn't it a better idea?
Any way, let's forget about Doug. I've got a date tonight, haven't met yet, just know her name; Vickie! Let's face it!
I'll tell more tomorrow!
Monday's gonna be a busy day meeting some guys I'd been waiting to meet for such a long time!
Have a nice time and wish me luck!

Keith

What do you do when you're bored?
I write down a word & take the letters individually then try to make as many words as possible, not too bad, it keeps me busy,
Today I wrote Keith & without any hesitation I added Thomason, then took K & started key, kite, kettle, keen, kangaroo, karate, keep, keeper, kernel, ketchup, kid, kick, kicker, kidnap, kidney, kitten, kitchen, kill, killer, kill off, killer whale, karma (do I like this word, lemme see no! I don't cause I can't think of any good action to save me) ok what else aha I forgot sth important; kiss, kissing, kiss away, kisser, kiss ass,… enough next is E like egg, elbow, edge, eagle ,ear, earl, earn, earth..
No this word's really boring let's stop; now try saying keith keith keith & then kiss kiss kiss yea if you say it quick they look quite the same(especially if you don't emphasize on pronuncin th correctly!), ridiculous name, ain't it?
I don't like this name, it's too short too foolish.
OK I can't do anything it's my name, lemme see the important guys with this name:
Keith Waterhouse born, Feb. 6, 1929, Hunslet, Leeds, Yorkshire, Eng. novelist, playwright, and screenwriter noted for his ability to create comedy and satire out of depressing human predicaments.
Ok the next one's Keith Jarrett born May 8, 1945, Allentown, Pa., U.S. jazz pianist, composer, and saxophonist considered to be one of the most original and prolific jazz musicians of the late 20th century. He was also a noted classical pianist.
Then comes Keith Castellain Douglas born, Jan. 20, 1920, Royal Tunbridge Wells, Kent, Eng. poet who is remembered for his irony, eloquence, and fine control in expressing the misery and waste of war, to which he was to fall victim.
Then Keith Roberts Porter born June 11, 1912, Yarmouth, N.S., Can. Canadian-born American cell biologist who pioneered techniques for electron microscope studies of the internal structure and organization of cells and tissues.
Then Sir Keith Jacka Holyoake born Feb. 11, 1904, Scarborough, N.Z. farmer and politician who served twice as prime minister (1957, 1960–72) and was the first politician to be appointed governor general of New Zealand (1977–80)
The next is William Keith Brooks born, March 25, 1848, Cleveland, Ohio, U.S. Zoologist known for his research on the anatomy and embryology of marine animals, especially the tunicates, crustaceans (e.g., crayfish), and mollusks (notably the oyster).
And the last Keith Nathanial Thomason born Dec. 7, 1980, Los Angeles, Ca., U.S. zither player, basketball player, metallurgist known for his genius, disastrous brain and is considered to be a shame in Thomason's family who never had an idiot like him.
Well there were so many other Keith named guys I just mentioned the most remarkable ones. Well most of these guys left school before finishing except the last one, that I really admire! (Grammatical problem: most-except?!!)
Ok now let's talk about the last name; it is obvious his folks really loved "th" as you can see KeiTH NaTHanial THomason
& talking about the meaning Keith means forest (Welsh), Nathanial: gift of God (Hebrew) & Thomason: son of Thomas (??).
It means God gave a son to Thomas as a gift but he was lost in the forest!
OK enough for today, if any one needed any definition on a name just send an email & I'll give him/her the full root.
Isn't my name really interesting?
PS I was reading some other blogs, then find out mine's sorta different, it seems I'm not a puppet like others or no one's as foolish as me to write so many cliché things!?

weekend

I don't like weekends any more, what's exciting about weekends when every day's a holiday?
What did I do yesterday? Nothing jus watchin TV & movin around the place doing nothing, I didn't even read a book & TV such a boring thing, it's all BS, is it really important that guy Tom Cruise proposed Katie Holmes on top of Eiffel Tower? Don't think so, I can do it without ant news coverage!
I find sth interesting, that rectangle shinin piece of glass, I looked at again, & saw sth new, some one new was gazing at me, I was glad seein him so I decided to spend the rest of day looking at him, at first it seemed he's curious & looked back but after a while he got bored & left, I dunno when he's coming back but I'll wait till he comes!

Mama

Mama, she has taught me well Told me when I was young Son, your life's an open book Don't close it before it's done The brightest flame burns quickest Is what I heard her say A son's heart sewed to mother But I must find my way Let my heart go Let your son grow Mama, let my heart go Or let this heart be still Left home at an early age Of what I heard was wrong I never asked forgiveness But what is said is done Never I ask of you But never I gave But you gave me your emptiness I now take to my grave So let this heart be still Mama, now I'm coming home I'm not all you wished of me A mother's love for her son Spoken, help me be Well, I took your love for granted And all the things you said to me I need your arms to welcome me But, a cold stone's all I see Let my heart go Let your son grow Mama, let my heart go So let this heart be still
Mama, I really miss you. It’s been a while thinking of you & can’t stop reminding myself; I was never the son you wished to have. I must confess you were right, Kev’s right , every one’s right I’m jus a mushy, silly, soppy, irritating, annoying, disgusting, sentimental, knucklehead jackass.
I dunno why I can’t act in a logical way.
Lord I dunno why you created such a useless idiot like me but thanks for the negative result.
(Lord believe me if the result was positive I would never think of you any more)
I was dying of fear & was it frightening?
No my dear idiot, you always overact, exaggerate….
Lord thanks a million times promise to be a good boy & mom please don’t be mad at me; I’m goin back downstairs I promise I won’t think of staying another night in Clyde’s place!
Hope Lord, you & daddy forgive this moron!
Your guilty son
Keith

I turned the camera jus to take a pic of my messy room but decided not to do it, you can see jus the closet!
 

And the in the pic above you can see my feet on the desk, I was really tired so put 'em there for rest.
 

My Soul

I found some washin powder & washed my soul in the bath, I did check the plug to make sure it wouldn't drain away. It looked very clean, I put it on the rope outside to get dry, but I forgot to tie it & a breeze came & took it away, now I lost my soul, I'm still lookin for it. If you saw it accidentally, please grab it, put in a pocket & post it to me!?

Hey Doug's back, wish he hadn't! He's really mad at his boss,� I dunno why he shout at me, do I shout at him when I fuck up my exams? May be I do!
Yesterday was a confusing day. After my exam and wanderin around the po square park, decided to go to the beach, a hot day & Atlantic's water match quite well.
I was sittin on the sands, gazin at the waves & struggling in my thought, when a pile of kids came there & the lovely silence turned to a real nuisance.
I got up & head back to home. Spending some time reading Simpsons, I got bored & decided to try gym. Truly a horrible decision. It was about 2 or 3 in the afternoon and almost no one there. I was enjoying jumpin up and down releasing my anger by pushin the pedals, when a group of 6 teens entered the place; I wonder why Boston people become so active &go to places like beach & gym, while I'm there. I swear these people don't come to this place more than once in a month. I tried to ignore these guys (4girls + 2 boys) & concentrate on what I was doin, it seemed they didn't notice me or ignore, I didn't mind 'em , they were jus makin too much noise. I was runnin on the trail, when suddenly some one touched my shoulder, I turned back to see who was there, I stopped running & I almost fell down. I grabbed hold of a bar and stood on both feet finding out all the guys were lookin at me; one of the boys asked:" hey dude, will you join us in the restaurant beside here?'
A little astonished at their suggestion, jus refused it by sayin I jus had lunch 2 hours ago. Then one of the girls asked:" what did you have for lunch?"
I frowned at her sayin it was none of her business!
Any way these guys kept on makin a fool of me, well it seemed they hadn't found any one else to entertain 'em!(Do I look like clowns?) the last thing they said was I'm really skinny & better find some one to look after me!
I jus wanted to go back home & go on reading the boring comic strip wonderin whether I was skinny or not took a look at myself in the mirror, guess it'd be better if I didn't!
Anyway at home I found a useless corn in the fridge & tried to bar-b-que it; here some part of the process, it tasted great.
 

Exploration in nature
There're so many creatures livin on this Earth like me, you & this little lovely lizard!
Jus take a look at it! Ain't it beautiful!?
Little pretty fingers, such a gorgeous look! Guess it has 4 fingers on each hand, two beautiful eyes, big black ones & astonishing striped tail.
I had the chance to take a photo of this amazing creature on my way back to our building, a nice pose for the picture! I'll try to take more pictures of these wonderful creatures surroundin me, actually I tried to take a photo of Mr. & Mrs. mouse but they jus ran away to look after their numerous kids & the 2inch roach went under my bed sayin he had no time for amateur photographers like me!
I keep on tryin, will be back soon!
PS I'm done with this term, not yet decided what to do in summer time, I may try to pay a visit to Kev &Kit!
 

Today's Flag Day. 50 stars for 50 states, I have a flag with 49 stars, I counted it! May be it was made before 1959, before the admission of Hawaii!
Doug's not back yet; he called and said he's gonna stay in NY for 3 more days, gonna have my last exam on Wednesday!?
I feel sorta sick, think caught cold. I spent most of my time playin with Elena's kids, well it's they're summer time! We went to the beach for swimming, and we made a sand castle. Nothing interesting ;gotta go study!
National flag consisting of white stars (50 since July 4, 1960) on a blue canton with a field of 13 alternating stripes, 7 red and 6 white. The 50 stars stand for the 50 states of the Union, and the 13 stripes stand for the original 13 states. The flag's width-to-length ratio is 10 to 19. And for the strips; White signifies purity and innocence, Red, hardiness & valor, and Blue signifies vigilance, perseverance [sic] & justice.�
 

BOOKS

Hey
I've never see some one like myself, I'm unique though there may be other Keith Thomasons in the world, non of 'em as idiot as me!
Gonna write some technichal books, think it's gonna help proff.s to refer to it while marking my papers!
one's "a new look at material forming" this book's about new methods & formulations to slab & ideal methods
and the other's "extraction of idiot from a lead furnace"
dunno what it's exactly about, it's jus under experiments, gonna give you the briefs when I'm done.
Doug's not back yet& i called him but his cell was off. a little paniced, he was suppose to come tonight.
Gotta stay awake tonight, my corrosion final's on wednesday, and that's the end.

Dirt

I gazed at the clock9.5 am, hell I've been sleeping for over 10 hours, puffy red eyes I had.
A smart look, I thought, I still feel sleepy, and have a pile of papers to read, don't have enough time.
I'm getting harder to understand, keep on goin to classes, & when the final comes, ouch there's no eagerness to open a book.
There's this terrible headache, I dunno the reason, may be I caught cold, a silly headache, it's really drivin me crazy. I looked at that rectangle shinin piece of glass today & I hate the reflection, I dunno who's that stranger gazing at me, I know the eyes, but he looks a bit o' strange, I close my eyes & count, 10,9, 8,…,1 slowly open my eyelid, oh no, he's still there!?
There's sth disgusting about 'im; it's a feeling I can't understand, sorta hatred!
He's trying to say sth I approach the rectangle & I'm so close that my ear can touch the smooth cold surface of the rectangle, I try my best to hear, think the words stick in his throat, letter by letter he pronounce the words. Aha he says:"H E I S M Y R E A L S I D E"
Ouch my real side, don't think so, he looks tired, dirty, helpless, miserable and worse than these disgusting!
I close my eyes again, and take a deep breath, how ugly I look!
And that feeling, now I can see it, it's all within me, all within my head, all within my body, yea, it's really smelly, sorta rotten, ouch that's my soul, oh heavens!
I made it filthy with my mucky thoughts!
Can I wash my soul? Do I have a soul? I remember I sold it to devil several years ago in the streets of LA while dying for some crack. Did I get it back?
Well it seems that it escaped from the Hell, thinking I'm still too young to die in this sordid way.
Hey buddy, thanks for finding me, but you look terrible; gotta wash you, but dunno how, any suggestions?
Think priest knows the answer, so I leave 'im some time to be met on Sunday!
Better take a shower now, the dirt's all over my body!

Sorry

Sorry guys
think it gets too personal,
gonna write better things
I'm thinking of Funnitallica
I'll say more
Bye

BASH

Hey it's 3 am it was a great bash & these guys are really cool.
It was jus a usual bash & the whole building was invited, only Regina (she was on the night shift) & Doug missed it; and Fiona (Miss Murphy ) left us before dinner, I must add there were no booze jus minerals & non-alcoholic drinks('cause of the kids) & for dinner we had pizza, ham ,cheese & this stuff. Clyde & Hugh're great couple,
Clyde 43, civil engineer & Hugh 40, psychologist. Good match. Their other partners, Steve 47 & Dave 35 both work for an auto firm (think Dodge). Gonna meet'em more, they're jus fine, they know other people limits. Clyde may gimme a hand in my projects & Hugh's a great listener.
I need sme sleep, I have a terrible headache.
G'night

disgusting me!

I went to Cambridge taday trying to find some books to read for my finals.
I think there's sth wrong with me, there are tens of libraries in the university, but I went to the one Meg works in, I even checked the time making sure she's there (I didn't do it intentionally or consciously) I went straight to the pc to search for any available metal forming books; there she was sitting at the disk. Hell, how sweet & lovely she looked; she looked beautiful, awesome with that pink lipstick. I tried to remember the times we were together, how much I wanted her, I really felt hot, I dreamed of the times I f**ked her, really sweat, I did wanted to eat her.
I was pulled outta my sweat dreams by the voice of a Chinese girl sayin:" have you finished your search?" I looked up & there was no sight of Meg, it was 10 & her shift was finished & an old guy was at the desk, I collected my papers & made a bee line for the door, when I saw Meg with her new bf, standing in a dark corner of the corridor, and hell, that bitch was kissin her. I really felt terrible, annoyed, frustrated, abandoned and lonely, I was lucky she didn't notice me. The funny thing was that I had no control over my tears, I was extremely angry at myself, I really acted childish. I thought every thing was over, and truly it is over, I dunno why I'm still foolishly in love.
When I got home I went to a store nearby & got a Marlboro, I know I gave up smoking, but I really need one. (I haven't lit it yet, and I don’t want to light it anymore, I'm jus lookin at it!)
Opened the door & went upstairs, counting the stairs (I never use the elevator, cause it's really old & insecure) 10, 20,30 wow I was 10 stairs to our place, when I met that guy; I dunno his name, but I met him once & I knew he lives on the 4th floor; I was shocked, cause they rarely use stairs. I dunno why, but I stopped as he passed me, then went on countin 9, 8… then heard a voice callin my name. I turned back.
That guy was callin me." Keith, right?" I nodded, wonderin how he found out my name (well, think it's not weird, I'm the only one, every one in this building knows well!)
He went on:" how're ya doin? Havin your exams I suppose?" I felt voiceless, may be we were in the same department!
He continued:" guess you're alone this evening, your home mate's away, isn't he?"
Hell, I was really shocked I jus kept on noddin, cause I couldn’t think of a single word.
And this is what he said in the end:" Clyde & I wanted to celebrate our first wedding anniversary & I wonder if you mind coming!"
As far as I was really furious at Meg I said:" I try to come"
The guy said:" so we'd be waitin for you around 7, bye now" and went.
I stood by the door, havin no idea about what I said!
Now I'm sittin in my room, why I said that thing! Didn't I know what they are?
Surely I know, but I wanna go, think it'd be fun tryin this way of life; I think they'd planned to invite me even if I didn't meet em in the stairs.
Sure Doug gonna kill me if he finds out, and neighbors might not lemme into their places, especially Elena & Harwicks, but I'm not gonna do anything, I jus wanna see what they do!
Guess, they're gonna have bj & cock tails for dinner! (kiddin!)
OK it's lunch time, I'll write to you about these nice homo guys when back!

Our Building

Where I live
I'm alone again. Doug's gone to NY to a meeting and won't be back till Saturday, it's 2pm, seems everyone's out except Miss Murphy and me.
I promised to write about our building; here it is:
It's a 4-storey building with 7 apartments (over 90year old), I live on the 3rd floor (sorry no pics! I don't have any strength to go down and take a photo). On the first floor we have Regina (almost 60, nurse, kind and a friend of Miss Murphy, I went to her place last week to bake a cake; it was a lot fun & it really tasted good!), on the left there lives the Harwick family. Brenda (mom), Frank (dad), Neal (17yr old son), guess Brenda's a hair dresser & Frank works in some office, I dunno. And they always insist on forcing Neal to consider me as his older brother, I can't understand the reason but think they try to persuade their son talk about the things he doesn’t want to talk to his folks with me! Can I be a good brother?
On the second floor lives Elena with her 3 kids (2 boys; Paul 14, Gerard 13 & a girl: Devin 11) Elena's around 30 and she's a teacher; she sometimes asks me to watch her kids while she's out & do some shopping for her whenever I have time. I sometimes help em with their homework & ask em to join me in my place to watch movies (when Doug's not at home!) Personally, I don't like to baby-sit these kids anymore 'cause all of 'em reached puberty & I think their feelings toward me are changing, besides they are really curious & I don't think I'm the right one to answer their questions.( gonna talk to Elena).
George & her girl friend live next to Elena, George's about my age & he studies something related to management (I think) in Boston univ. & her gf works in a restaurant 4 blocks from here.
On the third floor, me & Doug share a 2 bedroom apartment and next to us lives Miss Murphy, the nice 80 year old ma'am with her lovely cat; I swear this cat's a real idiot, I've told her hundred times that I have allergy to animals, I even kicked it, hit it & any possible way to get off me, but she still comes meowing towards me whenever I'm in her sight!
And the last floor, unlike other floors, it's jus one apartment, I'm not much interested in this floor,
Jus for a brief view, there lives 4 or 5 guys together (and there are more at weekends, luckily they use elevator so we don't have to meet 'em)I dunno the names, I don't care about 'em. Nobody cares much till they're silent. (Sometimes they make a lot of noise while touchin & enterin each other!). Doug said two of 'em are married & wanna adopt a child, if that's true, I really feel sorry for that child!
OK this is it.
Gonna have sme lunch.

Puppets

Why am I American?
American, American!? How much I hate this word! There's always this irritating feelin, meetin a new guy, when I say: "hi I'm Keith from US"
Can you find worst guys than Americans, these big borin guys shakin their hams and guns movin round the cities?! What are they? What am I?
Am I who I think I am? Am I who I think I am?
Is heaven on this earth? I dunno if it is or not but surely it's not here.
I'm tired, really tired. How could someone breathe in this air polluted with regularity?
Wake up early in the morning, go to work, back home, wake up, go to work, back home…. Hey stop it's weekend, ok it's time to have fun! Then again wake up, go to work…. Is there an end to this killer loop?
Did ya know Americans work 1800 hour/year while Germans work 1435 hour/year & French work only 1378 hour/year?
Amazing, aint it? I hate these guys, they're jus puppets, smile & shake hands with ones they hate, and ignore the ones they like! The more they love em, the more they try to press em under their heavy boots of ignorance. Isn't it strange! these puppets don’t want much, jus a house, a family, a job….
They don’t care who's pullin their strings, jus want everything regular, organized, normal.
You feel pity when you see em sad for not havin a sport car, a good job, retirement, VCD, DVD, brand new microwave, a new cell phone…, but they don’t panic for their kids learnin to hate each other, killin & destroyin the things once they loved.
What am I doin in this hell, is there a way for salvation? Is there a getaway? Am I sinner for not tryin to be a puppet?
Heavens, think I'm turning to a puppet?
Oh look at that nice strings round my hands, how lovely they look, I like their brightness, smoothness, shine…. Can you tell me who my puppeteer is?

REASONS
Have you ever noticed how much your other talents are activated when you have to focus on important things like studin for your final exams?!
Any way there are several items flashin up & down my brain & don't let me study my metal forming.
First for those nice guys (guy in general) who are generous to read this blog, asking why I write my personal life so frankly; here are the reasons:
1. thanks for reading, it's a personal blog, so I think I have the right to use it as my journal
2. I'm tired of this phrase "in life was a kind of guy who never let you look inside & smile when I was crying" so I decided to live my life everyday, what's the use of torturing myself by hiding everything inside
3. I don't care if a lot of people read these sh*ts or jus' one (though I'd be really glad with more than one esp. the ones who comments) this way of writing has several advantages; for instance: you feel free from the daily pressure; you give yourself a chance to review your life�. So I suggest to my friends to do the same thing & share it with others if they like (I'd be glad to read others!)
Thanks
PS there are times things got stuck together turning everything to sh** so sorry for those times!
 

Birthday
I looked at the calendar;7thJune ; why do I like 7 ?
I took a look at web & I got to these essays:
Seven Sisters; Seven Against Thebes; Seven Hills Of Rome; Seven Years War; Seven Wonders of the World; Seven Wise Masters; Seven Oaks Massacre; Seven Sleepers of Ephesus�
There was a lot more but not the reason, put my hand under my chin & went to my planet, lemme see yea
This is the reason I was born on 7th December, quite a good reason, ain't it?
But there's still a big problem we have 365 days per year & jus one day to celebrate my birthday; guess it's unfair. Once a year, may be people forget that day(I forgot my last birthday myself waking up a year olderthe next day!) , then I gotta wait for another year & I'd be a year older, may be I die, so no one would celebrate it , just mournin my death, I don't like it.
So I got a decision, gonna celebrate my birthday every month, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, every time I feel fresh, every time I breath, every time I look at the clock and it's late at night, still awake with lots of undone things�
So happy birthday to me happy birthday, happy birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!?
Guess it was my 24 year no 8946day no 214704hour no 12882260 minute 772935600 second
Wow I lived around 772 million seconds, can you believe it?
PS I'm sorry for that wonderful seconds I spent sleeping, eating worse than that fuckin around, hey wait a second please� don't go lemme catch up !
PPS better count your seconds now they never come back (ouch I'm talking like philosophers!)
 

MISS
Main Entry: 1miss
Pronunciation: �mis
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English missan; akin to Old High German missan to miss
Date: before 12th century


transitive senses
1 : to fail to hit, reach, or contact
2 : to discover or feel the absence of
3 : to fail to obtain
yea! Miss, how simple to neglect things, people� but difficult to miss em.
Wow people in 11th century missed each other so much that created such a word, quite shaking. Thought 900 years ago people got to see each other so often!
Do I miss any one? Lemme think�.
Yea, there a lot of people I do miss. I miss my folks, I miss my brothers, I miss my friends, I miss Meg (do I ? no I don't.-sorry for the mistake) I miss that little lively boy with so many nice colorful dreams, I miss the cherry tree in our ol' house in Wyoming, I miss hot weather of Texas, I miss Atlantic Ocean, I miss LAX, I miss that little puppy I ran over while trying to drive daddy's auto, I miss my schools, I miss my lovely teachers mad at me throwing paper rockets all over the class or putting a little lovely 2 inch roaches on girls desks, I miss my childhood, I miss myself (a little selfish!?)
Hey be sure I wont miss ya!
And who miss me, lemme think� jus one more minute
I'm still thinking
Hey wait one more hour,
OK it's a secret I wont tell ya!
OK OK after thinkin more than 4000 seconds I guess; well better to tell the truth
NO ONE IS MISSING ME!
 

Sorry guys if it seems a bit messy
I was tryin to organize my pc so I bumped into some unposted (inposted, imposted or may be not posted-I dunno which is correct need some grammatical help-) notes so I jus posted em
Please don�t look for any logics!
Aha these flowers are dedicated to ones we really miss but have no chance

 

IDIOT CALLED: ME

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Tell me who’s the silliest of them all?
I thought that the generation of stupid guys had vanished; sorry! I was mistaken!
Yes taday I met one of these rare species; very glad to meet ya sir.
Hell I dunno how many times a mistake should be repeated to get stuck in the complicated mind of an idiot like you!
Yes I’m talking to you; who else’s here?(don’t get mad at me, here” you” refers to someone called Keith N. Thomason)
After living 24 yrs I haven’t learn the easy law of doin things at the right time; why everything should be postponed to the last moment!
I was supposed to hand my project on Sunday not Monday, so at the moment I have a 30 page research infronna me & more than 50 hours gone to the waste; hope Alan (my prof. in corrosion course) accepts it later

shocked at midnight

I went to Logan to meet Doug's guest & took him to Colonnade. It wasrainin this evening, really nice, fresh air & I jumped outta building& stood in the rain for 30 minutes. I love getting wet, wish you werehere. Well then when I went back upstairs I had a headache & a littlesore throat, yea I caught cold!?I took some aspirins & went to bed early (around 10). But sth funny happened.I was sleeping deeply and didn't hear anything. Jus in the middle ofthe night felt something warm touched my hand & then a hairy thingtouched my face, but I was too tired to analyze anything, after awhile I felt a hand moving around my waist trying to hold me, I stilldidn't noticed any odd thing, finally my brain cells decided toanalyze the data given by my senses; after a long time at last thedata was processed and the conclusion was: "some one's in my bed."I jumped up as if electrocuted by a 220V wire. (Well I dunno how I got220V cause in US 110V is used) & used all my vocal organs to shout(think I woke up the whole building).Here's the resultsA crowd of 3 guys rushed into my room laughing at me for about anhour! (Luckily I caught cold & had my clothes on cause then it wouldturn to sth embarrassing)The one in my bed cried for over half an hour!And here what actually happened:The guy I met at Logan was Doug's uncle. Julie (Doug's sis) & Phil(her husband) decided to come to Boston with Doug to meet her uncle.Doug tried to call me saying he'll be back about 11-12 pm, but I wasout in the rain, when they arrived I was deep in my sleep that didn'thear 'em. Then Ali asked Doug to let her sleep in my bed & Doug cameto me asking if I mind her sleep beside me & I said it'd be ok (butactually I don't remember!) and you know the rest. Ali was reallyterrified, I guess I'd never shouted that loud, well I was reallyshocked & frightened.(it's a terrible feeling) I got to read her astory to sleep again. Phil & Julie slept in Doug's room & Doug'ssleepin on my beloved sofa. (kidding, you can't imagine what aterrible thing's to sleep on!)

Hey what up?
Doin� well?
I�m gonna have 2 finals in this week & 2 in the coming weeks.
On Saturday I went downstairs to Regina�s place (Miss. Murphy�s friend; livin� on the first floor) & we made a cookie, think I don�t have much talent in cakes & sweets but I�m really good at makin� mess!
I went to meet Alan on Monday to hand my research, unfortunately late & he�d gone.
Anyway I discovered the reasons of catchin� cold.
Here jus� to name some of the advantages:
1. You don�t have to open your books for the exam, if you can�t find enough reasons for passing the course.
2. You find the reason of sleepin a while in your bed if you�re tired of sleepin.
3. You can have some soups
4. You don�t have to go shopping, clean the house, wash the dishes�
5. You can watch TV as much as you like
6. Doug(you can replace this name with anyone�s you like) stops nagging at you, paying attention to your desires
7. you miss your doctor
8. you can�t find any way to spend your money
And a lot more advantages
I know all ya�re experts but here some suggestions to speed up the flu process:
1. If you live in southern hemisphere at the moment, you don�t need much to do, jus go stand outside for a while
2. for the ones living in northern; you can take a cold shower
3. you may like to eat 3 or 4 ice-creams
4. you can try cold water adding it with a cooler
Guess, enough for today!
I�ll be back with some advices for guys who don�t want to share their meals with their room mates (I don�t have this problem, Doug�s really a good cook & he enjoys letting me taste his cooking)
PS Last week I went to see �Chicago-the musical�, it was a bit long but worth seein it once, especially it�s musical & some humor�d been added to it. It�s about 20�s &30�s official & judicial corruption in America.
 

Black & White

Hey Guys
I dunno why you read this blog (if anything interesting please share)
I'm havin' my final & tryin to say bye to the net for a while.
I'm writing again & at the moment sth moving up & down my mind,
What do you think about Black & white? is it a good topic?

Dolls of voodoo all stuck with pins One for each of us and our sins So you lay us in a line Push your pins, they make us humble Only you can tell in time If we fall or merely stumble But tell me, can you heal what Father's done? Or fix this hole in a mother's son? Can you heal the broken worlds within? Can you strip away so we may start again? Tell me, can you heal what Father's done? Or cut this rope and let us run? Just when all seems fine and I'm pain free You jab another pin, jab another pin in me Mirror, mirror, upon thy wall Break the spell or become the doll See you sharpening the pins So the holes will remind us We're just the toys in the hands of another And in time the needles turn from shine to rust